The Snot-O-Minator

At the moment: NEED SLEEP!


I was so ready.

GAWD! I was really, REALLY ready.

Imagine taking a nice, long bath. You wear a t-shirt over your nice little cotton panties. Refreshed, you practically tiptoe back to your room, humming a Mozart composition as you do so. You slid under a thin dark blue blanket your mom gave you a few years ago. It was the rare good one out of all the Philippine Airlines blankets your mom brings home to you when she visits from Saudi Arabia. It immediately absorbs your smell, wrapping you in a light scent only Dove's bath gel can do. You close your eyes eager to take that trip to dreamland.

When suddenly, you realize "SHIT! I CAN'T BREATHE!"

You look for good ol' Vicks inhaler (those things are goddamn weed in disguise I tell you) but found nothing but a bunch of ointments. Frustrated, you lie down in bed and try to sleep it off. You turn to your side, roll over like a futching hamster, lay on your back, your belly, hell even your damn chubby arms when you realize yet again... you can't breathe.

Frustrating is such a mild word to describe this ordeal. Tried sleeping up? YES. I was sitting and trying to get some sleep a few minutes ago before I lost all hope and turned my laptop on. As it turns out, I STILL couldn't breathe properly even while sitting up. It's like a nasty trick. Whenever I try to sleep, my pudging nose just gets stocked up with what seems like hardened snot. I wouldn't know.. I can't get it out if it saved my life. I tried blowing it out forcefully but that just popped my eardrums. I don't have any plans of popping my eardrums the whole night.

So now it's 1:00 in the fricketing morning. I have an important production tomorrow, a doctor's appointment, well it's not really an appointment, it's more of barging in at the clinic and demanding medication, and I have to stay at school until 9 fucking o'clock. Yay me.

I can deal with the runny nose thing. I'm even willing to be caught in public with snot dripping on my nose but please let me SLEEP! I WANT to sleep. I NEED sleep. Sleep is good.



Me in a pitiful state of hopelessness

In case Captain Obvious was unable to point out, that picture wasn't taken just this night. That isn't even my bed. And if you're asking what in the nine world's possessed me to bend like that, squint my right eye, stick my tongue out and stretch my arms upward, let's all just assume that at that time, I HAD sleep.

In times like these, I wish I had a Snot-O-Minator. It's a mini vaccuum the size of a spoon specially designed for your nose. You'd stick the little hose and plug it in your nostrils. Then you turn the damn thing on and the little sucker just squeezes you dry of snot. Yeah. That would be sweet. So what if some parts of your brain gets sucked in the process? At least you'll have a good night's sleep. And right now, that's all what matters to me.

Note: the Snot-O-Minator is a figment of my imagination so please don't try to look for it at SM supermarkets. Don't spread the word too because those Vicks Vaporub folks might go out of business because of my brilliant idea.