Friday, August 18, 2006

The Snot-O-Minator

At the moment: NEED SLEEP!


I was so ready.

GAWD! I was really, REALLY ready.

Imagine taking a nice, long bath. You wear a t-shirt over your nice little cotton panties. Refreshed, you practically tiptoe back to your room, humming a Mozart composition as you do so. You slid under a thin dark blue blanket your mom gave you a few years ago. It was the rare good one out of all the Philippine Airlines blankets your mom brings home to you when she visits from Saudi Arabia. It immediately absorbs your smell, wrapping you in a light scent only Dove's bath gel can do. You close your eyes eager to take that trip to dreamland.

When suddenly, you realize "SHIT! I CAN'T BREATHE!"

You look for good ol' Vicks inhaler (those things are goddamn weed in disguise I tell you) but found nothing but a bunch of ointments. Frustrated, you lie down in bed and try to sleep it off. You turn to your side, roll over like a futching hamster, lay on your back, your belly, hell even your damn chubby arms when you realize yet again... you can't breathe.

Frustrating is such a mild word to describe this ordeal. Tried sleeping up? YES. I was sitting and trying to get some sleep a few minutes ago before I lost all hope and turned my laptop on. As it turns out, I STILL couldn't breathe properly even while sitting up. It's like a nasty trick. Whenever I try to sleep, my pudging nose just gets stocked up with what seems like hardened snot. I wouldn't know.. I can't get it out if it saved my life. I tried blowing it out forcefully but that just popped my eardrums. I don't have any plans of popping my eardrums the whole night.

So now it's 1:00 in the fricketing morning. I have an important production tomorrow, a doctor's appointment, well it's not really an appointment, it's more of barging in at the clinic and demanding medication, and I have to stay at school until 9 fucking o'clock. Yay me.

I can deal with the runny nose thing. I'm even willing to be caught in public with snot dripping on my nose but please let me SLEEP! I WANT to sleep. I NEED sleep. Sleep is good.



Me in a pitiful state of hopelessness


In case Captain Obvious was unable to point out, that picture wasn't taken just this night. That isn't even my bed. And if you're asking what in the nine world's possessed me to bend like that, squint my right eye, stick my tongue out and stretch my arms upward, let's all just assume that at that time, I HAD sleep.

In times like these, I wish I had a Snot-O-Minator. It's a mini vaccuum the size of a spoon specially designed for your nose. You'd stick the little hose and plug it in your nostrils. Then you turn the damn thing on and the little sucker just squeezes you dry of snot. Yeah. That would be sweet. So what if some parts of your brain gets sucked in the process? At least you'll have a good night's sleep. And right now, that's all what matters to me.

Note: the Snot-O-Minator is a figment of my imagination so please don't try to look for it at SM supermarkets. Don't spread the word too because those Vicks Vaporub folks might go out of business because of my brilliant idea.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha, I hate having colds too! Sabi nga ng nanay ko, masama daw yang Vicks Inhaler. Nako, baka weed nga yan. Haha.

Kelangan ko rin ng sleep kaso may dentista pa ako. Darn! Kakatapos lang ng exams namin. WEEEBEEE. Lol. Good luck!

11:47 AM  
Blogger p a n i c doll said...

Vicks... I love vicks.
Clogged nose + Vicks = Heaven.

LOL

7:39 PM  
Blogger sorbetera said...

hahaha!! sabi ko sa inyo eh. there's something suspicious about vicks.. it's like a miracle drug. a legally illegal drug. hahaha!!!

9:18 PM  
Blogger & said...

i love your PHOTOS! ewan ko ba, very sensible at nakakatuwa. (tuwa - hindi tawa)

vicks - NAKAKAADIK. kapalit ng katol na hinihithit ko gabi-gabi. oops, baka mabuking haha!

no, i am not frustrated with a clogged nose. actually, miminsan lang ako magkakarooon nyan.

[[sayang, di kita nakita USTE. ang nakita ko lang, si heneroso. :) anyway.. ]]

yung PAL na blanket na blue? meron din kami nun! ang sarap ng pakiramdam no? =)) hehe. tatay ko naman nag-uwi since piloto sya. :D

ayun lang. http://utakgago.blogspot.com dumaan at nag-comment :)

9:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[comment ni paurong kay sorbetera]

i love your way of writing. gusto ko ang course mo pero ang kukunin ko ay journalism. nagdadalawang-isip na rin ako. gusto kong mag-computer science. ewan ko ba. ai! yung post mo pa pala! ang galing naman ng vicks! ehehe..

-- http://paurong.blogspot.com

10:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

siguro kung wala kang tulog kamukha mo yung nasa larawan... parang sinto-sinto.

hindi talga madali ang may sipon at uhog na nakabara, siguro kung may nagay nga lang na pwedeng humigop ng nakabara sa ilong mo, mawawala na sa mapa ang malabanan

10:18 PM  
Blogger The King said...

Vicks? haha! i used to depend on that back in high school, hehe, back in the time when i couldn't survive without a towel following me around, because i seemed to have this eternal relationship with a runny nose.

i was worried when i stepped into college, because i dont want to be the dork promdi who always had a snotty towel on his hand, hahaha! anyway, my dependence on it, eventuall went away. but i still sneeze like hell when im exposed to dust.. so cleaning our dusty QC apartment is always hell for me after im done.. =p

4:45 PM  
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9:22 AM  

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