Bangus
At the moment: terribly sad
Do you want to hear a story?
My last class for today ended around 8:30.. so I got home around 9pm. Julian was really hungry and asked if he could eat at my place. I wondered why the heck he was asking since he's practically part of the family already. Hunger creeped in when I was standing in front of our white gate and was rummaging my bag for the keys.
Julian knocked and my lolo opened the door for us. As soon as he laid eyes on me, he said "Kumain na ba kayo? Naku... wala na yatang pagkain! Konti nalang kanin.." I immediately thought that we should just buy food outside but my wallet reminded me that I cannot do that. (Damn TV Production sucked my wallet dry) I told Julian we wouldn't be able to eat in the house anymore but he was much more worried about me than of his own stomach. He asked if the food was enough for me and I was confident in saying 'YES' The food may be scarce but I'm sure folks at home would leave just enough for me.
I apologized to Julian but as I've said, he was more worried about me and reasoned out that he can eat dinner at work. I nodded him off and went straight to the kitchen to see just how much truth there is in my lolo's claim.
I found out that what was left was a small bowl of soup and less than a cup of rice in the rice cooker. Looking at it made me pity myself. Imagine being hungry... imagine anticipating the thought of home so you can eat a nice warm dinner... imagine going home to an empty dining table.
My lolo was so concerned that before I could even say anything he said "Sandali lang, bibilhan kita ng kanin tsaka ulam diyan sa kanto.."
He went out of the house in a dash and came back less than 3 minutes after... holding a small plastic bag of rice and bangus.
I sat alone on the barren dining table and ate my meal in peace. With every bite I took I felt gripping pain in my throat. No, it's not because of the fish (which was already cold) or the rice which was dry. I could live with that but the fact that I was left forgotten by members of my family pained me tremendously. I'm not asking for a feast in my name. It's just that... wouldn't it be nice if people remembered that you were coming home and would leave a bit of food for you? It isn't about not having food... it's about being forgotten. Maybe this is one of the cons of not having your parents beside you. You see, I'm living with my relatives so it can't be helped that the level of concern isn't as high. Actually, I would've understood it if we were broke and couldn't possibly feed all the members of the family. But we weren't.
I remember back when my mom was still here (yes, my mom again.. >.<) Whenever I came home late from school, she would leave some food for me on the table and then watch me as I eat it. She would just sit there, looking at me while I devour everything she has prepared. Even though I didn't make it to the normal dinner time, she'd make sure I wouldn't eat alone.
To those who still eat dinner with their families, please consider how lucky you are. Eating alone (though now Julian always keeps me company) is sometimes a good thing especially if you aren't comfortable with the other members of your family but as time stretches on, you'd realize how unbelievably sad it is. You may not agree with me but that's how it felt.
And you know what's more heartbreaking? My tita suddenly came down the stairs and saw me eating bangus from the plastic bag. She asked me what was I eating. I said lolo bought it for me because there wasn't any food left. She didn't say a word and headed on upstairs. I figured she probably didn't know that I could still hear her but she was saying to my other tita and the maid that I was eating fish bought from the carinderia sa kanto. That almost made me cry. Now that I think about it... I don't know why that made me cry.
I knew she was guilty and felt sorry for not leaving me food, you can sense things like that you see... But my tita has really weird ways of expressing guilt. She ended up nagging me about weird, small things like the hairbrush that I use, the time I spend online.. and stuff like that.
She could've just said sorry and got it over with but I guess guilt isn't her thing.
Do you want to hear a story?
My last class for today ended around 8:30.. so I got home around 9pm. Julian was really hungry and asked if he could eat at my place. I wondered why the heck he was asking since he's practically part of the family already. Hunger creeped in when I was standing in front of our white gate and was rummaging my bag for the keys.
Julian knocked and my lolo opened the door for us. As soon as he laid eyes on me, he said "Kumain na ba kayo? Naku... wala na yatang pagkain! Konti nalang kanin.." I immediately thought that we should just buy food outside but my wallet reminded me that I cannot do that. (Damn TV Production sucked my wallet dry) I told Julian we wouldn't be able to eat in the house anymore but he was much more worried about me than of his own stomach. He asked if the food was enough for me and I was confident in saying 'YES' The food may be scarce but I'm sure folks at home would leave just enough for me.
I apologized to Julian but as I've said, he was more worried about me and reasoned out that he can eat dinner at work. I nodded him off and went straight to the kitchen to see just how much truth there is in my lolo's claim.
I found out that what was left was a small bowl of soup and less than a cup of rice in the rice cooker. Looking at it made me pity myself. Imagine being hungry... imagine anticipating the thought of home so you can eat a nice warm dinner... imagine going home to an empty dining table.
My lolo was so concerned that before I could even say anything he said "Sandali lang, bibilhan kita ng kanin tsaka ulam diyan sa kanto.."
He went out of the house in a dash and came back less than 3 minutes after... holding a small plastic bag of rice and bangus.
I sat alone on the barren dining table and ate my meal in peace. With every bite I took I felt gripping pain in my throat. No, it's not because of the fish (which was already cold) or the rice which was dry. I could live with that but the fact that I was left forgotten by members of my family pained me tremendously. I'm not asking for a feast in my name. It's just that... wouldn't it be nice if people remembered that you were coming home and would leave a bit of food for you? It isn't about not having food... it's about being forgotten. Maybe this is one of the cons of not having your parents beside you. You see, I'm living with my relatives so it can't be helped that the level of concern isn't as high. Actually, I would've understood it if we were broke and couldn't possibly feed all the members of the family. But we weren't.
I remember back when my mom was still here (yes, my mom again.. >.<) Whenever I came home late from school, she would leave some food for me on the table and then watch me as I eat it. She would just sit there, looking at me while I devour everything she has prepared. Even though I didn't make it to the normal dinner time, she'd make sure I wouldn't eat alone.
To those who still eat dinner with their families, please consider how lucky you are. Eating alone (though now Julian always keeps me company) is sometimes a good thing especially if you aren't comfortable with the other members of your family but as time stretches on, you'd realize how unbelievably sad it is. You may not agree with me but that's how it felt.
And you know what's more heartbreaking? My tita suddenly came down the stairs and saw me eating bangus from the plastic bag. She asked me what was I eating. I said lolo bought it for me because there wasn't any food left. She didn't say a word and headed on upstairs. I figured she probably didn't know that I could still hear her but she was saying to my other tita and the maid that I was eating fish bought from the carinderia sa kanto. That almost made me cry. Now that I think about it... I don't know why that made me cry.
I knew she was guilty and felt sorry for not leaving me food, you can sense things like that you see... But my tita has really weird ways of expressing guilt. She ended up nagging me about weird, small things like the hairbrush that I use, the time I spend online.. and stuff like that.
She could've just said sorry and got it over with but I guess guilt isn't her thing.
ice cream sold by sorbetera at 9:12 PM
19 Comments:
gosh. if i were you, hindi na lang ako kakain. walk out ang beauty ko sa ganyan, day.
i also live with my extended family. but the feeling's not like that naman. my mom and dad are in the same city as we are, and they do live with each other. pero they want us to live with our grandparents (and we love it) because it's in the middle of the city.
abundant nga ang food eh. and you feel the love.
i think your lolo and your tita loves you. i just think that they're hesitant to show it to you because they're not your direct family. parang nai-ilang sila eh.
maybe time is all you need. mago-open up rin yan sila. just be ready to let 'em in.
thoughtful naman ng julian.
thoughtful naman ng julian
aaaaaaaaaay.:C
okey lang yan, libre mo na lang ako ng ice cream, kain tayo..lol.^.^
dheena>> haha! Di kaya eh..
christie>> yeah abundant din naman food dito. kaso nga lang people tend to forget that I exist.. maybe you're right, maybe they will open up. Pero kelan pa? I have less than 2 years to go before I graduate, I'll be starting a life of my own soon..
baylon>> it's really nice that in my post, the one you noticed is my mentioning of julian.. I'm glad ^__^
pam>> cge! ice cream!! natikman mo na ba fudge brownie ng ice monster? ANG SARAP!!
hahaha
thanks guys.. your comments really made me smile ^__^
gawd! Work is taking me away. ahaha.. I only logged now. Anyway, I hate it too when I came from school and there would be no food. It's irritating.
But at least, lolo brought something. I had an awful moment once when my tita asked me to just cook whatever I want when I came home tired.
Ice monster's fudge brownie? I gotta try it too. =)
ano ba yang tita mo! hate her. :( pero alam mo yan talaga hirap sa extended families in one roof. sobrang mahirap makisama sa kapamilya talaga.
which is kinda painful and weird when you actually think abt it. kasi family e diba, tapos dun ka pa mahihirapan.
well, it's still a good thing your grandfather brought you something. and well, i thought it was sweet of him to do that. pero i just didn't like it when your tita was like guilty or something because no food was left for you and you were eating the bangus that's still on the plastic.
yeah my tita has always been like that. She doesn't have a family of her own (and I think it's aready too late for her din) so I think she's a bit bitter.. I had countless experiences with her to which I just end up crying kasi I'm powerless to do anything about it.
Yes.. my lolo is so sweet!! ^___^
dafat close kayo ng tita mo dahil single pala sha ei.
Fudge brownie... mmmmm...
Anyway... hmmm... what was I gonna say?
Dang it your fudge brownie mention totally caught me off guard.
Oh yes.
I don't eat with my family now either. But since we have a cafeteria at the dorm, I don't come back to find that there's no food left for me [unless I miss serving hours].
Anyway, that's really sad. I agree with dheena. WALK OUT! WALK OUT! Harharhar j/k
^.^ I work as an HR Personnel for Recruitment.
Waa.. Chimera-sama the same thing happened to me before. And it went on again recently. My mom would also do weird things when she's guilty. >,< She'll sometimes snap at me for small reasons like bringing my slippers with me up to my room. O_o;
But anyway, adjustment in the family tends to take a long time. But if they are willing to show it before you go, then maybe they should do so asap since gagraduate ka na nga after 2 years. But at least your lolo came up and brought you something. It's nice for him to go get you food instead of just giving you the money to buy for yourself, right? ^^ Genki nasai! :D
aww.. that was sad. waw. i'm so blessed pala to be eating with my family. pero minsan. ang sama nila. T_T inuubusan nila ako. huhuhuhuhu. Just like what christie said, I think na nai-ilang sila. I'm sure, the time will come na you will all jive and everything need not be spoken, if you catch my drift ;)
hey.. sorry for not visitng right away.. EXAMS. T_T
Awwww.. I've never had that experience.. and I hope I won't ever. Cos mom always cooks for us... And boy, I really really appreciate it. Thing is, she's the one to make tampo pa nga if I or anyone in the family eats out then comes home na busog na...
Nothing beats lutong bahay :) Mom cooks so well pa naman! Sumptuous meal every single day.
Ne, something's missing in my comment. Err.. Anyway, Julian's really sweet... I'm glad he's thinking more about your well-being. ^___^;;
Hay naku.. I understand how you feel.. I also live with my relatives.. my parents are legally separated kase, and since my mom and my dad is living somewhere far from ust, i have to stay at my lola's house which is nearer..
I also happen to come home late.. there are times when i am so hungry and then wala ng food, i am just hoping there would be a scrumptious breakfast served pero.. wala..=p.. kaya sa buong araw.. lunch ln talaga kain ko na matino..
waah.. i miss my mom.. ung part ng post mo na your mom used to sit at the table watching you eat.. ganon din mommy ko..
anyway.. matagal na ako nagbabasa ng posts mo.. and i happen to read this post just now..=p..
Post a Comment
<< Home