Attack of the Dumbasses

At the moment: all good



After the movie: Me and Julian.

I watched Lady in the Water with Julian today. We were supposed to watch Nacho Libre (which we planned to do since the trailer came out) but we had our serious-movie mode on and instead chose M. Night Shaymalan's latest.

Paul Giamatti was brilliant. When he cried, my heart just crunched itself up and tears started pouring out. The first time I saw him was in My Bestfriend's Wedding playing a small, minor role. From that time until now, he has really made progress. It was a very convincing performance and I really think he should do more movies like this. He's made for it.

That's about the end of all the beautiful things that will come out of my post.

Our recipe for today ladies and gentlemen are Movie-Spoilers.

Julian and I watched the movie in G4 and was expecting hoping that people would have the right senses to NOT be a complete dumbass and shut up through the movie. But we were so fucking wrong. Maybe it was just bad luck that got to us. We weren't expecting to encounter these kinds of dumbasses while watching the movie:

Dumbass #1 -- He was seated behind us wrapped in the arms of his equally clueless girlfriend. At first we thought we could tolerate his annoying, fake, scratching laugh which only erupts whenever unbelievable shallow humor (like when Cleveland was getting rid of a bug under the kitchen sink) happens but gets silenced to dead air when intelligent humor reels in. Ugh. It wasn't that bad but things get worse when:

Julian: Can you please shut up?

Dumbass #1: *doesn't realize it was him Julian was pertaining to*

*screen shows heroine's scars disappear*

Dumbass #1: Ayan nawala na scars niya

*screen shows hero explain that he is a guardian*

Dumbass #1: Siya yung guardian..

*screen shows kid"

Dumbass #1: Yung bata!


.....you get the drift. I am not fucking blind. I am blessed with eyes and I can see perfectly well what was going on. I was so mad I wanted to cry but I didn't want to cause a commotion and ruin the movie for everyone else. Instead I concentrated on keeping Julian from strangling Dumbass #1 because he has a shorter patience than I have. Julian was practically yelling "SHUT UP!" but Dumbass #1 was indeed living up to his label. I can't understand how someone can be so dense.


Dumbass #2 -- She was relatively quiet through the first half of the movie. She just had to ruin it at the most intense part... that's why she makes it to my Dumbass list. I have nothing against our Bisaya brothers but her strong accent just made it all the more worse. She's so oblivious to the other people watching that it's ridiculous. This time, I was the one who couldn't contain my anger. I wasn't as courageous as Julian to actually say "SHUT UP" out loud but I was gritting my teeth and small gurgles came out. (I also didn't want to cause a scene and ruin the movie for myself and for others)


Let me paint a picture:

*screen shows a fat woman*

Dumbass #2: HAHAHA! Ayan si taba!

*screen shows a surprising scene*

Dumbass #2: *screams* Ayuku na! Waaa! Ayuku na!! Nakakatakut!!

*screen shows hero walk towards danger*

Dumbass #2: NAKU!! LUMAYU KA DIYAN!! WAG KA DIYAN!!


Is it too much to ask to watch a movie in peace? Is this the price people have to pay for watching a movie in the big screen? Everybody paid for their seats, everybody has a right to enjoy the movie.. why can't people just shut up for 2 hours? It's only two hours! I'm not saying people shouldn't speak but at least they should have the decency to minimize it and keep it to themselves!


To Dumbass #1 and #2: (and to other Dumbasses that would follow)


Don't let everyone know what you're thinking because frankly, nobody gives a flying fuck about what you think. SHUT UP for pete's sake!