Saturday, August 26, 2006

Ang Bagong Paraiso (The New Paradise)

At the moment: FINALLY breathing

My Filipino prof told us to read "Ang Bagong Paraiso" by Abueg.

It's basically about two kids, a boy and a girl growing up together and then being separated forcefully by the inevitable event called adolescence. Their parents pulled them further and further apart and filled their minds with malice. "Masama. Bawal. Tukso" these words baffle Cleofe and Ariel as their parents keep bombarding them with it as they grow up. Their parents drove them forcefully apart because they fear that these two might get distracted from their studies and elope.

Their parents didn't know that by driving their kids apart, their longing gets stronger every single day they spend apart. Not being able to play togethere in the beach and their favorite tree was something painful for Cleofe and Ariel because in their mind, there is nothing wrong. Why is it "improper" for a boy and a girl to run around in the field and play tag? It used to be okay back then, why is it not possible now? These questions fueled confusion which in turn blossomed into deviance.. In the end, these kids made the biggest mistake of their lives. All because they were deprived of contact. Was it even reasonable?

This story made me think a bit...

Is it advisable to stop your children from having romantic relationships while they're teenagers?

Is the rule "No boyfriends till you graduate" still an effective method to steer teenagers away from the dark path? Or will it only aggravate the curiosity leading to bigger mistakes? (just like what happened to Cleofe and Ariel)

When the time comes that I have my own kids, how am I going to talk to them about sex? Would I talk to them about sex at all? Ideally, I would like to educate them about it as soon as they're ready, I'd rather them learn about it from me rather than their friends (who are most likely equally clueless about it) or worse, from the internet! I can only imagine my own kids finding out about sex through porn.. that's the worst kind of exposure they'll ever get.

The dilemma still lies though... if I do expose the idea to them, would it spark curiosity rather than responsibility?

One thing I'll never do (and I really hope I don't) is drive my kids away from the opposite sex. It will really only make them long for each other more. And depravation is an unbelievably powerful thing. It can drive any man to his limits and out of his own rational mind. If one does not understand the reason of his punishment, he will do everything in his power to fight authority.. to fight the injustice of it all.

I wasn't allowed to have boyfriends till I graduate too. But I had my first one in grade 5. I don't think someone's curiosity can ever be controlled. Instead of strictly forbidding my soon-to-be kids to have romantic relationships, I would probably just tell them that if ever they do have one, they'd tell me. I grew up keeping my boyfriend/s a secret from my parents which was fairly easy considering they were working abroad. My mom, in her desperate effort to find out stuff about me, read my diary and I caught her red-handed. I can still taste the anger I was trying so hard to control when I saw her reading through my diary.

I wouldn't want to be that kind of mom. I wouldn't want to be the kind of mom who'd resort to invading her kid's personal space just so he/she'd open up to me.


NEW LAYOUT! Yes I'm back to my original orange scheme. Rachel is so cute isn't she? I'd just love to dress her up in striped socks and lolita shoes. How cute.


Anonymous yoj said...

Hmmm. I think I've read that one too, ages ago. Can't just seem to remember when.

I also have the same experience of my mom invading my privacy. She tore off pages of my autograph notebook (the pages I've filled in) and diaries. I still don't understand what's that for. And the boiling rage at her still feels like it was yesterday.

New layout ka din! Congrats satin at hindi pa nade-deplete ang creative juices natin! Hehe!

12:33 AM  
Blogger Kai said...

With my mother being away from me most of my growing up years, I was also tasked to obey that rule. But I wasn't exactly the teenager she hoped to have as a daughter, and with that being said, she'd come to realize that restricting me from it wasn't a good idea after all. Oh BTW, my mother intruded my diary as well. She found some stuff, but I couldn't afford to deny it. She didn't have a choice but to lift the limit, hehe. Anyway, I'm a passerby. You have a nice blog! Enjoyed reading it. I hope you feel better, and just take it easy. (:

8:36 AM  
Blogger sorbetera said...

ate yoj>> I know! Part of me wanted to snatch my diary from her hands and slap her but of course, my own rational thinking told me I'd get beaten up if I do that.. haha!

Yeah new layout! bisita ako sa blog mo ate yoj!

kai>> I know what you mean. My limit dissipated after she found everything out... she knew that once it started, there's no way to stop it. Thanks for passing by Kai! I hope to see you stumble here again ^__^

11:06 AM  
Blogger vaNINski said...

That's the thing. when people try to drive you away from something (let's say the opposite sex), the more curious you become... but why would they do that? Probably because they don't want their kids to go on necking, smooching, making out and you know where that could lead to.

They anticipate the consequences but they don't even know what they're dealing with yet. Like what my teacher told me, It's like trying to save spilled milk. What they should do is to handle things before the milk would actually spill... and trying to deprive us from being aware of what they really mean isn't exactly the right thing to do and instead, the concept of responsibility comes after the act is done.

Instead of depriving us, they should instill responsibility.

Love the layout by the way. ^_^

11:46 AM  
Blogger {Porcela1n Dollxx; said...

I told my mom about my first boyfriend. And I know she wasn't too happy about it. She wanted me to break up with the guy because she wants me to concentrate with my studies first. I eventually did but not because she told me to do so, but because our (my ex and I)relationship was falling apart.

Yeah, that's what my parents and grandparents have been telling me. No boyfriend 'till you graduate. Then it would be followed by, "gawin mo na lahat ng gusto mong gawin pagkatapos mo grumaduate." I hate it when they say that.

11:57 AM  
Blogger kapitana lipz said...

i've missed reading great articles from you. like this one. :)

yeah. it's very hard dealing with subjects as delicate as that. sex is soemthing very hard to explin. and i dread the time when i have to do the smae thing wiht my *future* kids.

parenting i s a touhg job. especially when you have to watch over a kid like me. :O

i loveeee the new layout, btw. haha. it's so cute. and bubbly. :)

12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nasasabi mo lang yan dahil hindi ka pa isang ina.

But the diary incident is too much though.

5:40 PM  
Blogger sorbetera said...

vaninski>> yep exactly dear!

porcelain>> Oooh..! I used to hear that all the time! But actually even after you graduate we're not yet entirely free you know? They still have a say in most of our decisions because they're family. And I think they just say that so we wouldn't feel victimized ^__^

kapitana>> I'm really happy you enjoyed reading my posts.. ^__^

6:35 PM  
Anonymous pamers said...

at grade 5 plng may bf nuh?.. hahaha

9:18 PM  
Anonymous bratinella said...

I've been allowed to have a boyfriend since forever, haha. Kidding. High school pa lang pwede na because my parents (who got married at the young age of 20) believe na its way better na payagan para open ako sa kanila, which was effective, only wala nga lang talagang boyfriend haha. Thing is this, they give me trust and it's the kid/or dapat teenager yung maging responsible with his/her actions...

9:46 PM  

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