Ang Bagong Paraiso (The New Paradise)
My Filipino prof told us to read "Ang Bagong Paraiso" by Abueg.
It's basically about two kids, a boy and a girl growing up together and then being separated forcefully by the inevitable event called adolescence. Their parents pulled them further and further apart and filled their minds with malice. "Masama. Bawal. Tukso" these words baffle Cleofe and Ariel as their parents keep bombarding them with it as they grow up. Their parents drove them forcefully apart because they fear that these two might get distracted from their studies and elope.
Their parents didn't know that by driving their kids apart, their longing gets stronger every single day they spend apart. Not being able to play togethere in the beach and their favorite tree was something painful for Cleofe and Ariel because in their mind, there is nothing wrong. Why is it "improper" for a boy and a girl to run around in the field and play tag? It used to be okay back then, why is it not possible now? These questions fueled confusion which in turn blossomed into deviance.. In the end, these kids made the biggest mistake of their lives. All because they were deprived of contact. Was it even reasonable?
This story made me think a bit...
Is it advisable to stop your children from having romantic relationships while they're teenagers?
Is the rule "No boyfriends till you graduate" still an effective method to steer teenagers away from the dark path? Or will it only aggravate the curiosity leading to bigger mistakes? (just like what happened to Cleofe and Ariel)
When the time comes that I have my own kids, how am I going to talk to them about sex? Would I talk to them about sex at all? Ideally, I would like to educate them about it as soon as they're ready, I'd rather them learn about it from me rather than their friends (who are most likely equally clueless about it) or worse, from the internet! I can only imagine my own kids finding out about sex through porn.. that's the worst kind of exposure they'll ever get.
The dilemma still lies though... if I do expose the idea to them, would it spark curiosity rather than responsibility?
One thing I'll never do (and I really hope I don't) is drive my kids away from the opposite sex. It will really only make them long for each other more. And depravation is an unbelievably powerful thing. It can drive any man to his limits and out of his own rational mind. If one does not understand the reason of his punishment, he will do everything in his power to fight authority.. to fight the injustice of it all.
I wasn't allowed to have boyfriends till I graduate too. But I had my first one in grade 5. I don't think someone's curiosity can ever be controlled. Instead of strictly forbidding my soon-to-be kids to have romantic relationships, I would probably just tell them that if ever they do have one, they'd tell me. I grew up keeping my boyfriend/s a secret from my parents which was fairly easy considering they were working abroad. My mom, in her desperate effort to find out stuff about me, read my diary and I caught her red-handed. I can still taste the anger I was trying so hard to control when I saw her reading through my diary.
I wouldn't want to be that kind of mom. I wouldn't want to be the kind of mom who'd resort to invading her kid's personal space just so he/she'd open up to me.
NEW LAYOUT! Yes I'm back to my original orange scheme. Rachel is so cute isn't she? I'd just love to dress her up in striped socks and lolita shoes. How cute.