Sorbetera Girl

Sorbetera Moves!

2007-06-12T13:01:00.000+08:00

For those who have been visiting... Still visiting... even after my lethargic phase, I commend you.. I love you! I want to buy you a drink!

*cough*

Okay, here's the thing, I moved to Wordpress only recently after I dragged my sorry ass up from the chair, stopped evading blogspot and finally settled the score with Mr. Writers-fucking-Block.

I've got new material in there guys! I'm blogging again! Prepare your blogs for the ultimate sorbetera attack. I'd be reading those entries like I haven't eaten cake for days. lol

http://sorbetera.wordpress.com

Same name, same girl. Let's go!

You just can't escape it

2007-01-11T02:06:00.000+08:00

At the moment: in deep thought

This isn't one of those "my view on life" type of blog posts. I know it will bore the shit out of you so I'm not going to bother. I also know that humans by nature love tsismis on people's private lives so here's one out of mine. However, I do not guarantee that it wouldn't be boring (because it probably will be since it's about jaded ol' me) Like how it goes in the blogging world: read at your own risk.

So here's the nitty gritty.

I've been in a lot of relationships in the past. Some were serious, some were ridiculous and some (well actually it's just one) I can say that is a total mistake. I've put all of that behind me because before meeting Julian I feel like I'm a completely different person (believe me I really was) and I don't like that kind of person. I like the "me" now. The "me" that I've worked so hard to make because yes, we make our own person. The "me" before was a naive, helpless girl (the words are too kind actually) who enjoys dating too much. (and flirting for that matter) Do I sound displeasing to you already? Hold on, it gets worse.

Dating and boyfriends for me were a different kind of high. The kind of high I'd always like to be in, and I'd do anything to be in that state of intoxication for as long as I can. Now, I'm not the prettiest girl you'd see in a crowd. I'm as average as average can be, and until now I'm confused as to why I was given the privilege to actually have (that many) relationships when I don't think I can even attract anyone. I was given the opportunities. And oh have I abused them!

Two of the guys I've dated before, sent me Friendster Private Messages. (I will talk about friendster later) Both have an unassuming tone and a signal for peace. They don't mean any harm, they just wanted to know how I've been, what's been happening to me and probably get a testimonial from me. (testimonials from past relationships are always interesting) It was a nice, simple message... just the start of it that is.

Like every other person I know, they too couldn't resist the temptation to take a little peek at the past again. Now while it shouldn't be a big deal anymore, I suddenly felt naked. Like I've been ripped off my costume and was thrown on the stage of a rock concert. Everything falls silent and all eyes rest on me. I stutter and try to defend myself but no matter what I say, the fact remains that I'm naked, and I can't lie about it because everyone can see that I'm naked. These two guys made me remember the girl that I was and I can't really retaliate because it's the truth.

I was playing.

I played around a lot. I'd get a boyfriend and then once I'm starting to get tired of him, I flirt with another guy and then when I see that the prospect can go somewhere, I break it off with my boyfriend for an overused reason (like studies and parents and stuff) See? It got worse.

Their messages were quite different. One was a bit friendly, while one was just a little bit hostile. The first one admitted that he too had a fault (well he should! Because after I played him, he played me) The second one was bitter to the core. He was the one who shoved to my face how cruel I was. I would've accepted it straight on but I knew... (oh yes, and it's not just defense mechanism) I knew that he had big flaws too. It's just annoying that he wasn't acknowledging it.

What have I learned from all this?

That however much you've changed, it doesn't mean that what you did changed too. The ones you've hurt, they're people too. And if you've managed to forget about your mistakes, it doesn't mean they will either. I may be a changed woman now, but I have been a despicable wretch before. While it is healthy to move on, you should also be prepared to face the things you have done in the past because once in a while, it will surface and you have to be mature enough to handle it all over again as if it were yesterday's bruise.

Because really, you just can't escape it.

Producing an ass

2007-01-09T00:29:00.000+08:00

At the moment: grabbing anything for inspiration.. ANYTHING

I used to blog a lot. Like a ton load lot. Yes... I'd post musings that go for a mile long but now, it suddenly became difficult to think of one idea and spin a coherent paragraph.

Oh wait! I suddenly have one!

I was forced... (yes, forced. In school, EVERY DAMN THING is forced) to write a short story out of a journal entry that I foolishly composed just to meet requirements. When you write like that, half-heartedly and without inspiration, you produce an ass and to make a blasted SHORT STORY out of an ass is a challenge. Oh might I add that we were given two hours to finish it? Yes... two hours. Zipa-dee-doo-dah!

A deadline, a topic you don't want and a pen. These are conditions that I hate to be writing in. However, I should remember that in the real world, if ever I get a writing job, this would be the exact same conditions they will throw me in. Okay, they probably would let me use a computer but still, I'd most probably be stuck with a topic I'd puke all over and a deadline so ridiculous it would add 10 years on my face. So I started writing the story... oh yes, did I mention it was in Filipino? The cruelty of it all!

I was getting the hang of it actually when our professor told us to pass whatever it is that we managed to cook up. I wanted to write more, I was building up the climax but fudgenuts, the paper finally slid off my hands as I looked wistfully back at it. I find it sadistic. They make you rummage through your imagination box, (as hard as you could) to get enough mojo to write a story out of something so crappy, and then when you finally get the hang of it, they yell "Okay that's enough, pass your papers!" Oh the cruelty!

Now.. I don't have a muse. I don't have that convenient little fairy to call on whenever my mind hits a blank space. So when I'm able to gather the much-needed momentum for a story, I should not be stopped. It takes a lot of effort to fill up the mojo meter again.. it's seriously not easy. At least for me.

Damn it. I want to write.

In life and love

2007-01-03T22:25:00.000+08:00

At the moment: trying to revive this blog

Before the last year ended, I was showered with all the gifts I could possibly dream for. My boyfriend took me out shopping for clothes, my parents bought me a cool digicam and an even cooler cellphone and to top it all off, I LOST 4 pounds during the holidays! Yes... at the time of cake and spaghetti, Sorbetera managed to shed off a few pounds. It was practically icing on the awesome year that was 2006. I got into the dean's list that year, I lost a LOT of weight... -sigh- the list goes on and on and on.

It was an amazing year.

It was so amazing that paranoia kicked in and slapped some anxiety in me. I've always been a firm believer in the thought that all the blessings you receive is like payment to the suffering you've had, and all the suffering you're going through is because of all the blessings you had. I started to wonder what kind of challenges will 2007 give me since 2006 was so kind to me. How cruel will 2007 be?

But then again, maybe it's really just paranoia.

---------------

Every year I make a resolution list that almost always never pulls through. As the years passed, the idea just got a lot more stupid. So this year, I'd be making just ONE resolution that I'll try as hard as I can to follow. Once I pull this off, I know that I can accomplish a million other resolutions.

Be Responsible.

When I come to think of it, that's all I really need to get through in life with minimal bruises. Actually, if everyone was just a little bit more responsible in life, love and sex, there'd be less pain and cruelty in the world.

In life.
Little things like keeping things in order, books taken care of (I found out recently one of my favorite books just got its cover tore off) or even just going through with the habit of drinking a cup of tea everyday is already being responsible. Keeping true to your word and your promises to yourself is probably the hardest thing to accomplish. That's why resolutions are tricky little devils that are hardly doable.

In love.
In arguments, there should always, ALWAYS be a resolution. Not talking about it is only delaying the inevitable. For problems that cannot be solved (like deeply rooted pangs of jealousy) I am hoping that time and distance will chip the rust off. If it doesn't... well.. we just have to find out. Overthinking a relationship is as bad as not taking care of it. We have to let things happen to know what CAN happen and to be able to avoid mistakes in the future. We can't just run away at the slightest hint of a brewing argument. We fight straight-on, and then we spend the rest of the time nursing the wounds.

In sex.
Uhh... why is this here again?

Happy New Year bloggers!
Here's some Caramel Popcorn for everyone!!!!

looks yummy doesn't it?

Woops.. erm.. let's share nalang.. haha!!

Jumping into the love boat

2006-12-04T23:48:00.000+08:00

At the moment: happy. oh-so-sodding happy.

I received this message just a few moments ago:

Why do most people seem to fall for their friend at one point or another?

It's because we see a great person. Someone who knows us inside and out, someone who has been there when we're down, someone who knows what makes us laugh and what makes us cry. Someone who cares.

We see the perfect someone in our friend but what we don't see is that as soon as we take that next step, they will turn into someone we never knew at all.

It's true though, isn't it? I know a lot of people who are quick to jump to the gun as soon as they get a little too attached to their opposite-sex friends. I have a LOT of guy friends.. at least I used to before I got serious with Julian and it's not a weird thing for friends to jump into the love boat.

I remember Ragnarok. You know, the online game that was a humongous hit during its time? Yeah Ragnarok. In Ragnarok, you get to upgrade your character to a higher class called "transcendent class" after leveling it up to maximum 99. After which, you go through Rebirth. All your skills goes back to nothing... you start as a noob and have to work your way up again.

It's tiresome but people go through that because they want to reach the top again but now as another character. You've experienced how it is being friends.. now you have to forget all about that and then start again, this time as lovers. That's probably why some people find it so awkward to date their friends. They don't go through "Rebirth" so they feel completely lost and helpless when taking the next step.

EDIT: because a lot think that this post misses something, I've decided to extend the topic a bit. haha! Actually, I could've written more about it but I was just too lazy so here's the full version!

Have I experienced falling for a friend? I'm not sure. I might have but you see, I'm not exactly the do or die type of person (though I can be given just the right signals). I might drop subtle hints that I like the guy just a little bit more than slap-on-the-back friends but once I get the feeling that it would lead me completely nowhere except maybe total and utter destruction, I'd stop those feelings with a screeching halt and find another one to set my eyes on. I don't know why but I never had a hard time doing that. I don't think it's because I'm a tough overconfident chick... it's probably because I'm afraid of getting myself hurt. It's stupid to force someone to like you.

For the past several relationships I've been in, we never really got to the "close friends level" first before taking the plunge. It's always "acquaintance-friends-lovers" for me. In the friend stage, if I feel that I might like him as something more than best buddies, I drop hints right away. Aggressive? Yeah, maybe. But in this way, I don't get hurt.

In the end, it's all about protecting yourself from unnecessary pain and despair.

So if you're stuck in that kind of situation, (falling for your good friend I mean) test the waters first. You don't have to take a blind jump, humans unconsciously give signs to each other. Learn to read those signs and give up wholeheartedly when you see that it just wouldn't work. (especially if you're a girl) Set aside your feelings and maybe someday.. (maybe) they'll feel just like you do and then you'd live happily ever after with lots of babies and a house in the suburbs.

Okay, maybe that was a tad too cheesy but hey, when it comes to the big L-word, everybody's a rookie.

Roughed Up Lady

2006-11-27T23:50:00.000+08:00

At the moment: PSYCHED

My mother grew up a tomboy. She had short frizzy hair and an expression that would leave you running home to your momma. I saw pictures of her from way back and she really looked like a big, bad boy out to beat you up. And she admitted this to me and is also really proud of it.

Now she's the most loving woman and wife I ever know.

Growing up, I guess I got most of her childhood experiences as well. I was known throughout our neighborhood as "Ang Prinsesa" not because I was dainty and feminine, but because I practically OWNED the street. Yes, I have bragging rights. I can show you pictures of my birthday parties and you'd see ONLY ONE girl (other than me) in the bunch. I played tumbang preso, langit lupa (whose rhyme I still think is pretty demonic until now), black 1-2-3 and a whole lot of other street games and I kick ass in it! Except of course popular girl games like jackstones and chinese garter. I suck at that.

I got my first childhood injury while riding at the back of a mountain bike. My big toe got caught in the bicycle chains in such a way that in whatever direction you pedal, my toe would most likely get sliced clean off my feet. They had to dismantle the bike to get my toe off and by that time they did, it was bleeding like hell.

That and a LOT of other bruises make me less and less of a dainty woman as my aunts would've liked. I haven't been in an actual fistfight when I was a kid, but I sure have been threatened lots of times. Small boys back then have a tendency to shout "SASAPAKIN KITA!" when provoked, but I stand my ground and they never lay a hand on my face. They just look at me fiercely and probably punch me on the shoulder but after that, they just run home.

I had some girl friends... but almost like every other girl friend I had since grade school, they somewhat betrayed me, talked behind my back and gave me the cold shoulder eventually. Up until now, I never understood why they did that.

So I just ended up sticking to my guy pals who taught me how to sneak out of the house during siesta time, run around the neighborhood pretending to be airplanes and bully ate rosie to give us Bazooka Bubble Gums and Fanta.

Right now, I wouldn't say I'm still that much of a tomboy. Maybe like mom, I was changed by romance too. (yes, how icky) The idea of love thrilled me and made me look at my guy friends as potential partners rather than just normal adversaries. As much of a tomboy my mom was (and she really was believe me) she just turned into this wonderful woman who actually concedes. Sometimes she even asks me what kind of clothes would look good on her and how should she wear her hair. How about me? Well, I make weekly trips to the parlor to get my nail done and whatever else done. I don't wear pants anymore (I wear SKIRTS now.. did you think I meant I go around naked now? haha)... I feel better going out with make-up on. But then again, I do believe I still have that Black 1-2-3 instinct in me.

That kind of thing never fades.

That's me in the middle and two of my guy pals. My sick relatives posted that little "my idea of fun" sticker in the picture... so it kinda looks perverted to the green eye. Sorry about that. >.<

A Mi Manera!

2006-11-26T16:43:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Relaxed

Seymour raps his "Heart Song" in class.

So sue me. I loved Happy Feet.

I enjoyed every minute of it for all its worth. And for people who'd tell me, "Oh come ON! It doesn't even HAVE a story!" you can just stop wasting your time and move on to another blog. It HAS a story, every movie has one. It's just differently executed from one and another. I mean seriously, what do you expect from a film like this geared towards children? Do you expect mysteries and plot twists? Give me a break. I suggest you watch Happy Feet for the sheer enjoyment it will bring you. If you want something heavy, stay away from a kiddie flicks please.

When trailers of Happy Feet aired about a year ago, Julian and I already made up our minds that we would watch it. The fact that it coincided with Casino Royale didn't affect our determination the least bit and also, the fact that the next Harry Potter movie trailer would be shown in Happy Feet trailers doesn't have anything to do with our wanting to watch it.

We're a couple of people who enjoy old school music. So when our ears flicked to the tune of Tom Jones' Kiss, we knew we were in for a treat. Penguins! For fudgecracker's sake! Penguins! Singing KISS! I was a bit iffy about the way almost every penguin looked the same and then I realized that the reason that they looked the same was that the animation was made as real as it can get. You've got to give them credit for that. The vast world of ice, the perpetually deep ocean, the humongous elephant seals... everything is all accounted for. The sizes do not betray each other, that's what makes everything look somewhat realistic. I remember my heart beating faster when that leopard seal chased him around through ice mazes, my body tensed up and I even shut my eyes in some instances. That my friends, rarely happens when I watch this kind of flick.

I was laughing my ass off with all the parodies.

Oh and the Adelie Amigos! Heaven bless those little penguins! They were the most entertaining of the bunch. I swear, the whole glorietta theatre burst into laughter with their antics. Not one person was trying to sustain their laughter. Everybody in the movie theatre guffawed to their heart's content. And of course, once again, Robin Williams proved that he is indeed a demigod when it comes to lending his voice when he lent it to not one but a couple several penguins including Lovelace the penguin pimp and Ramon who sang A Mi Manera (My Way to the rest of us) with so much gusto.

Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman, Britanny Murphy and Elijah Wood are other big names in this movie. I am pretty sure Nicole Kidman sang her part of KISS but I'm not so sure with Jackman. Did he? Really? I can hardly believe he's up for that but if he did, then I would love him all the more than I already do right now!

NOTE: thanks to Movie Web for the Happy Feet stills.

You know you like it warm and moist

2006-11-14T00:21:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Supposed to be resting but isn't

Sorbetera seemed to have run out of sugar these past couple of days. Her sweet tooth rotted and fell off because of too much double fudge brownies and blizzard ice cream. But now she comes back with a vengeance! Besides, she has to get her mojo back and what better way to do this than to go around manila for sweets!

CAFE BRETON.

Damn, easily THE place for the best crepes! I ordered a mango crepe with caramel drizzling (actually it's more like oozing lumps of caramel) and what else but a scoop of mango ice cream. It was absolutely divine. When a forkful of that beautiful looking crepe reached my tongue, my eyes almost rolled out in orgasmic pleasure. I mean I was expecting it to be good but certainly not THIS GOOD! It's not only heavenly, it's huge as well. If I wasn't so damn greedy, I would've left half of it for Julian to eat but well... Sorbetera's one gluttonous bitch (and I'm so going to hell for it) but you've got to understand me that if I don't finish that stuff, it will drive me crazy! Absolutely insane! It's just too good to pass up!

What's more, Cafe Breton's crepes can be customized to your taste! Oh dear Diet Fairies, help me steer clear of this sin! Imagine for a chocolate lover such as myself (who can eat an all chocolate meal once I'm hypnotized to forget about my weight) I can smother the whole thing in chocolate syrup and have chocolate filling AND chocolate ice cream! You have the devilish freedom to put whatever you want in that crepe. Oh the sin! The deliciously evil sin!

Oh yes, they have main courses too! Strangely though, when Julian and I were there, after eating that huge crepe, my mind was eons away from other kinds of food... or food in general for that matter. I was left satisfied, no, satiated by that big proud crepe! I remember that as soon as that little piece of heaven touched my lips, I forgot all shame and manners, without even swallowing it I mumbled "ISHH SHOOOOUUUWW GOOOOD!!!" I even made noises I never knew I could make. Now that I've come to think of it, the sounds I made were like cow mooing-choking sounds. It was someting like "MMMMOOOOhhhhh... MMMMOOOOOGGHHFFF.... MMMMMM---OOOOOOO......" Yeah I think that was it.

Err... the crepe didn't look as big as it should since I already attacked it before taking a picture of it. Hey...! If you were in my place you wouldn't be able to control yourself too as soon as that little piece of paradise lands on your table and sings the hallelujah! (NOTE: the other yellow thing that seems to be detached from the crepe itself is the ice cream.. or at least what's left of it after my initial attack.. *evil laugh*)

Here's me and Julian after the sin. (You can tell how screwed up our minds are after that awesome crepe.)

My Lumps... (my lumps, my lumps my lumps!)

2006-11-08T02:24:00.000+08:00

At the moment: fighting off sleep

Damn it! I didn't update for such a long time I'm starting to hate myself.

So... it's 2am and I have an early morning class. Great. Old habits die hard. Vacation's finally over. Operation Buhay Baboy succeeded, I did absolutely NOTHING but play PS2 from morning till night for one straight week. Yes. I am so not exaggerating. Don't insult me by thinking so. Of course I took bathroom breaks and lunch breaks but that's only a part of Operation Buhay Baboy so that doesn't count. Did I get fat from Operation Buhay Baboy? Hmm... we'll see about that.

----------------------

But the highlight of this month is my "Lump Alert"

By the way, thank you all so much for the concern. Yes, I will be taking good care of my.. uh... assets from now on. So let me tell you about my little trip to the Operating Room.

As you may all know, it was my first time. I haven't been operated on for anything. Not even my tonsils! I haven't had stitches on me since the day I was born so it's only natural to say that I was nervous. Nervous like HELL. I went inside this waiting room and found two women clad in patient robes. They both had dextrose shot up their veins and were looking pretty weak. I sat across from them with my hands folded neatly on my nap. I can be pretty lade-like you know... if I'm nervous and uncomfortable that is.

Patient 1: Magpapa Raspa ka rin?
Me: hindi po
Patient 1: Anong gagawin sayo?
Me: Sa breast po..
Patient 2: Ay! anong meron? Bukol?
Me: Uhm... opo.
Patient 2: Ilang taon ka na?
Me: 19 po..
Patient 1 and 2: NAKU! Ang bata mo pa!

I made friends with them. It's easy to make friends with fellow patients because.. well, I am tempted to say misery loves company but it's actually more of a curiosity thing. It's like a game of "Wala ka sa lolo ko" and the winner is the one with the most horrific case but still smiling and toughing it out. I'm happy to say that I kind of won that game. They were middle-aged women and I was 19. That alone guaranteed 50% of my victory. The part where I was smiling the whole time probably cinched everything.

The operation didn't go smoothly as I expected though. I was awake the whole time and the doctor asked me to alert him when I feel pain. I was like "WAIT! So I HAVE to feel pain?!" but well, I'm not the doctor and I'm a total noob on this so I just trusted him. And as they prepared my uh.. breast for operation, I began to think how lucky doctors are. People trust them with their lives no questions asked! People follow exactly what they say and for a split moment I thought I wanted to be a doctor. But after I heard the tinkling of metal about to dig into my flesh, I changed my mind again.

There were a few times that the anesthesia wore off. Yes it did. And that was what the doctor was talking about.

Doctor: Sabihin mo pag masakit ha. Ready lang..
Me: Uh... okay.
*Doctor uses something I cannot decipher but it HURTS A GREAT DEAL*
Me: mm--m--masakit po..
Doctor: Oh okay.. *injects more anesthesia*
*Doctor uses the mysterious gadget again and it STILL HURTS LIKE BLOODY FUCK*
Me: masakit po!!!
Doctor: Oh? Masakit na masakit?
Me: *tears falling involuntarily now* o..op..opo...
Doctor: Hmm.. nilagyan ko na ng pampamanhid ah.. *injects more*
*Doctor uses the mysterious gadget again and it STILL HURTS LIKE BLOODY FUCK*
Me: MASAKIT PO TALAGA!!!

I was beginning to think he didn't believe that it really hurt. But then finally the pain subsided and all I ever felt was persistent TUGGING. Like they were pulling my skin off my body without the pain. After a few more minutes, it was finished. And I was dizzy but smiling.

Now I'm recovering from the minor surgery since it still hurts pretty bad. But I'm okay. The lump was pretty big through... the doctor actually showed me the actual thing as soon as he took it out. He was like "Do you want to see?" and silly me said yes. It was pretty big. Around 4cm they said. And it was solid. It looked like a ball of flesh. Ugh.

So here ends my hiatus. I am back to reading your blogs and dropping comments!!

Pledge-Turn-Prestige

2006-10-26T22:01:00.000+08:00

At the moment: trying to finish this as fast as I can

Okay. I owe you guys an explanation. I haven't been updating lately (thank you Captain Obvious) and haven't been visiting your blogs as well. The reason for this is that I've been in a somewhat health crisis. It's nothing entirely serious but I do admit that it was pretty alarming at first. I found two lumps in my right breast about four days ago. Now, being in a time where cancer is one of the most exposed illness on TV and the Internet, it was only natural for me to get all worked up because of it. First thought that came to mind was that it was breast cancer and if I don't get rid of it immediately, I'd die.

But it isn't. Sure it's a lump but all the doctors I've been to (there's two of them who checked me) said that I was too young to get breast cancer and that the lump isn't a tumor since the mass was movable. So yeah. Okay. It's not cancer but I still have to take it out and we still don't know exactly what the lump's made of. So I'm off for another examination tomorrow. ^__^

-------------------------------

Now that that's taken care of, let me just gush over The Prestige.

One of the best things this movie has to offer is that it keeps you guessing up until the very end. Like an ordinary person who's off to see a magic show, all that keeps resonating at the back of your head throughout the movie is "How did he do it? How did he do it? What was the trick? What's the secret?"

Watch closely. You'll be well rewarded.
-- Goes the movie's first few lines. It makes your seat snug and comfortable, gives you the aura that something good is about to happen. Exactly how things start during the magician's first act: The Pledge. The magician presents something ordinary. Like an empty box, a cage.. a casket maybe. Something innocent. He presents it to the audience and the audience takes it in like a sponge. The audience think they know what's going to happen and anticipates that vision. Now comes the magician's second act: The Turn. The magician makes that ordinary something do something extraordinary. A bird disappears inside the cage, a woman goes out of sight after being draped by a velvet cloth... oh yes. Something extraordinary. Something so baffling that you cannot even begin to comprehend what happened, much more how it happened. And like what the narrator said in the first part of the movie.. "Now, you wouldn't clap just yet" oh no, not yet. Not until what disappears, reappears. What you have taken from their eyes, you've got to bring it back. And that my friends, is The Prestige.

Wonderful, wonderful movie.
-- As I've said earlier, the best part about the movie is that it's practically a magic show in itself. The movie doesn't play in a linear pattern. Rather, it jumps from Past, Present and Future in the same way that a magician misleads you into watching the alluring movement of his right hand while his left pulls out that marble in his sleeve. It goes in so many directions... one second you'd think you had it all figured out and then another second passes and suddenly you don't know anything anymore.

The main characters are dark, twisted and obsessed.
-- Yes... both of them. You'd feel sympathy for both of them but it gets tossed around back and forth between the two. Unlike in most movies, you wouldn't root for one main man. That could've easily been the case since this movie is basically about the rivalry between two magicians. But you'd see that both men, Angier and Borden lead very dark lives. Both are as much "into it" as the other one. You would hate them, love them and sympathize with them for all the same reasons.

Most of all, The Prestige is simply just a delight to watch. I watched it with Julian at Gateway and thank God there weren't much dumbasses present in the theatre. Oh but there was one particular dumbass that's worth mentioning though. This annoying son of a fudgecracker got his cellphone ringtone on LOUD and even had the nerve to carry on the conversation in the middle of the movie. He didn't even seem apologetic and frantic that he's disturbing the 20-something people wanting to enjoy the movie. For all I can see, he hardly even cared that his voice was louder than Hugh Jackman's! Insensitive bastard!

That asshole.

I guess there's one in every theatre.

NOTE: thanks to MovieWeb for the movie stills.

Oh Joy! Oh Ecstacy! Oh Heroin! [and anime matters]

2006-10-21T13:54:00.001+08:00

At the moment: high

I'm getting better. Thank you everyone for all those kind words, even though it doesn't mean anything for most people "Get well soon" messages make me feel a little bit better.

Tomorrow is gonna be even more better. I'll be going on a mini vacation with two of my college friends. I wasn't able to go to the La Union trip my high school friends are currently enjoying (rich bastards.. haha I couldn't go because I was broke remember?) and besides, I wouldn't be able to enjoy the beach much since I just got my period yesterday. Hahaha! And when I have my period, I always feel like I'm 5x fatter than usual. So La Union Trip = Impossible. Lipa, Batangas Trip = Possible.

We'll be going to my Lola's house there and we expect nothing less than Buhay Kababuyan. Eat, sleep and play. That's all we're gonna do there. Argh! Can't wait! Oh yeah so that means I'd be in a three day hiatus. Hmmm... I guess I should leave you guys with something before I leave huh?

Hmm... this actually reminded me my fascination for costumes. And I don't mean usual fairy-witch costumes and all that generic crap. Since I'm fond of japanese animation and culture for that matter (if it isn't that obvious already) I've always dreamed of dressing Lolita (Jap version lolita.. with all the frills and ruffles and all the pink in the world) Or at least like a character in Digi Charat. Otakus call it cosplaying.

Is it so weird to like cosplaying? I know a lot of people who cringe at the sight of cosplayers. I know people who'd even openly shout out "What the hell were they thinking?!" others would just laugh at otaku's undying fanaticism. Well you see, I'm the type of person who's pretty neutral when it comes to Anime. I'm not the high-strung fanatic who'd burn all her cash for a Gundam action figure or a gazillion Naruto keychains. But I do appreciate anime. I like reading manga. I have several folders in my laptop filled to the brim with pictures from different anime series. And I'm impressed at cosplayers... I envy them to an extent. They're that devoted enough to make costumes to wear for a few hours in an anime convention. I do believe that it's self-gratifying even though I haven't tried it yet. To each his own right? I'm sure you also get high on certain things that I would find silly or ridiculous. That's why even though you won't see me being so blatant and open about my fascination for anime, I still get hurt when people ridicule otakus, especially cosplayers.

And yes, I do have a lot of Japanese songs in my mp3 list and I do sing them even though I don't get what it means. ^__^

[more about this when I get back. ^__^]

Because I can't see you

2006-10-16T23:09:00.000+08:00

At the moment: throat's sore, nose all clogged up... coughing my brains out.

Hey you,

It's been only three days since we last saw each other but I'm going nuts here trying to go through life without our daily routine. We're both sick, you much much worse than me. I've ran out of cash so I can't go to your house anymore besides, you'd just feel obliged to take me home and with your current condition, I'd rather walk from Timog to Quintos than have you make unnecessary trips at my expense.

Without you I find myself playing a lot more. Do you know I've finished 6 missions in Atelier Iris 2: Azoth of Destiny in just one day? And if I'm not heating the PS2 up, I'm burning my laptop's processor. It has been open for the whole day and I've been doing nothing but check my Multiply, Friendster and this blog in regular rotation. Whenever you call me to say you miss me, I have to be honest that I can't even find the energy to say I miss you too. Being sick and knowing that you're doing worse than I am, add that to the fact that we haven't seen each other for a couple of days has drained me. No, it's not your fault. Stop thinking that it's always your fault.

Between us, you're the strong one. You're the athlete. So why did it hit you so hard? You haven't been eating properly have you? Well I'm sure as hell you haven't been sleeping properly. Maybe that's it. Or maybe you're just too stressed with juggling your work (that shows no mercy in changing shifts every month) and me your overly demanding girlfriend. I'm sorry for being a pain.

I hope we both get better soon.

Because if we don't; At this pace, I'd soon finish Atelier Iris 2: Azoth of Destiny and then I'd have nothing to do. I can't leave my mind blank or else I'd think of you and then I'd cry. You know how much of a crybaby I am.

From your fellow sick person,
Sorbetera

NOTE: to readers of this blog... I'm sorry for the sudden mush overload. I hope you don't mind. When I get better (which will be soon I hope) I'll try to give you guys a good read.

Corsets and Prom

2006-10-14T22:21:00.000+08:00

At the moment: sick

Remember my post Smacked and Dressed Up? I was fishing for opinion on what type of dress to wear for this formal awards night thing in school... let's call it CATV to spare us unnecessary spit okay? So when this CATV thing finally hit off, it was like prom night all over again. Here's how I looked like:

The dress runs just below my knee and I was wearing these cute little white shoes with a lacy ribbon on it.

I love corsets... they make you feel like you have washboard abs even though you just stuffed your face with a cheesedog/bacon sandwich just before putting it on. Amazing isn't it? Even the fact that you have to suck your liver in so the buttons would snap in place is magical. And I also love the fact that corsets work their magic better with chubby/busty women than rail thin ones, I think it serves its purpose better when you've got fat. Thin women (in my opinion) don't look too good in corsets... I prefer them wearing clingy, body hugging clothes, because obviously, they've got the figure for it. The point here is, I love corsets.. I really do.

CATV was... okay. *lie detector goes berserk*

Okay, it was a bit disappointing. *lie detector bursts*

Fine! I wanted to go home just minutes into the program. To disclose the whole reason here would be scandalous and I don't want trouble creeping through my window. But Gines, if ever you're reading this, you know you did a tremendously awesome job! We appreciate all your efforts.

It was nice seeing everyone all glammed up. It was like prom season all over again. Only, some got away with wearing really skimpy short dresses which in high school prom would raise so many eyebrows. We had the freedom to wear whatever we liked. One of the signs that you're getting old... people begin to trust your taste in fashion. Remember how constricted dress codes used to be in high school? In UST, a school swarming with priests, so many things are forbidden. If you stand out too much, you get hacked. (okay that was an exaggeration)

Some pics.. ^__^

Me with the most glammed up woman in the room, Patricia. ^__^

Me... with Karla; only... she doesn't know my cam got her.

More pics at: Kweyl Egg - My Multiply Account

Never Underestimate the Fat One

2006-10-11T23:20:00.001+08:00

At the moment: breathing

I have two hamsters, one is named Toffee and the striped one is named Nut. Toffee is brown and a little too active for his own good. He climbs better than spiderman and is absolutely polite to strangers.. Nut on the other hand, is one mean bastard. He bites and would rather squish himself under the exercise wheel than be held. My experimental psychology prof wanted us to perform an experiment that puts these two hamsters in 2 kinds of conditioning. Toffee would "listen" to Classical music and Nut would be exposed to Rock. After conditioning them, we'd put them in a maze and then train them to get out.

Toffee showed great potential with the maze. He's the active one and was able to get through the maze easy.

Nut was a total waste of time. He was lazy, he went in all the wrong places and sometimes just stay in that position until we practically shove him towards the exit.

So come presentation time, our group was so proud of Toffee. We keep encouraging him like he was a real person off to go to a marathon. And we kept on cursing Nut.

Classmate1: Go Toffee! You're our champion!
Classmate2: Yeah go Toffee!
Me: Nut Wala kaming mapapala sayo
Classmate1: Oo nga... slow si Nut!
Me: He's not just slow... he's an effing PIG! All he does is eat and get fat.

So yeah, Nut was bombarded with "Wala kang kwenta" and Toffee was showered with praise. And surprise surprise! Toffee wasn't able to get out of the maze.... BUT NUT DID. After the maze I could practically hear him say "Who's yo daddy bitches!!"

And rightfully so. ^__^

I remember Lord of the Flies by Golding. Piggy (yes, can they be more straightforward about it?) was always bullied and picked on even though the kid was bloody brilliant. He had all the right answers and all the best priorities in mind but what happens to him? He gets pushed around, ignored.. and killed.

Life is unfair.

NOTE: Pictures of TOFFEE and the already famous NUT will be uploaded later. ^__^

Tokyo Tokyo Made Me Go-Go

2006-10-07T20:05:00.001+08:00

At the moment: sleepy

You like pork cutlets? Don't waste your time on Tokyo Tokyo (come on! It's almost like Jollibee! Give yourself a little bit of challenge fer pete's sake!) go straight to Teriyaki Boy my friend and try their KATSUDON. I advise the weak-eaters though to stay away from the DONBURI stuff they have on the menu (which includes my beloved Katsu-DON.. doi!) because it will most absolutely send your stomach working triple time. If you can't stand huge servings or if you're on a date with your boyfriend and can't POSSIBLY be caught eating like a pig, then save the donburi for another day.
But in my case, I've been going steady with this guy for more than 2 years, I have the license to talk with my mouth full, eat double servings of rice and just simply stuff myself in front of him so this isn't a problem.

Whenever we're really hungry, Julian and I, we leave our fate to either the Koreans or the Japanese; To the Filipinos if we're low on cash (Silog meals are God's gift to the pinoys) Korean food, particularly those from KAYA restaurant, really DO hit the spot. I loathe spicy food but Kaya can make me eat loads of it willingly and with ever so much gusto!

And then of course the Japanese... gawd, I love the Japanese. Teriyaki Boy, Rai Rai Ken just NOT Tokyo Tokyo please...

You want to know why I'll never suggest Tokyo Tokyo to anyone? I mean, I might get forced to eat there once in a while but you will NEVER hear the words "Let's go eat at Tokyo Tokyo" escape from my lips. Never. I swear.

It's because of this...

Back when Julian and I were still starting to go out, we had lunch at Tokyo Tokyo, SM North Edsa branch. Yeah, yeah... SM. Anything wrong with SM? You grew up in SM too! Before you got to know Mr. Gateway and Old Man Glorietta, you had trusty SM. Admit it guys. Unless a Lopez, a Cojuangco or an Ayala happens to read this blog to prove me wrong, my stand on "everybody went to SM at least one point in their lives" is true. Back to my story.. so we were eating YAKISOBA (I will never forget that blasted thing) and then right after eating, my tummy suddenly felt a little iffy. Why wouldn't it be? The noodles were practically swimming in oil! I ate it because I wouldn't want to appear all high maintenance and crap which I'm honestly not, REALLY! So with all the turbulence going on in my stomach, I told Julian sweetly (we were still in that early stage of the relationship you see) that I had to go to the little girls room. So I did... and God, I could still remember the cold sweat trickling down my forehead as I stared at the toilet bowl, my stomach stubborn as ever, taunting me every second that passes. Walang pakisama talaga... I just stared at it afraid that if I sit down, bad things will happen.

Being SM, the restrooms were PACKED with people. And I don't really want to do my business in a place where people would surely react to my bowels and condemn me for polluting the air once I get out of the cubicle. So I tried holding it in. Yes. Eew. Yes. Gross. Yes, I know! So I went out of the cubicle thinking I had everything under control at least until I get home. When I went out, I had the biggest smile on my face... until my stubborn little stomach made my life hell again. I just HAD to go. I pleaded if we can go home already, and Julian, sensing something was wrong (but I think he wouldn't be imagining that I had to go number 2) hailed an FX and off we went. I made up a lame excuse like my stomach was just hurting and it was probably dysmenorrhea or something. hah-hah. Yeah, laugh.

The FX we were riding on didn't even reach much past the mall, when my stomach suddenly made a very clear, terrifying WARNING. If it could talk it probably said, "Here I go bitch, ready or not!"

So I clutched Julian's hand, "I have to go.. let's go down now. NOW GODDAMMIT!"

The FX stopped right in the middle of Timog. I knelt down in agony... my stomach wasn't kidding... it WAS pushing. I knelt down in the middle of the street. Julian didn't know what to do, he was frantic. I said I had to use the bathroom and pointed towards Pizza Hut's direction. As we went inside, a bunch of waiters greeted us. Oh-howdy-fuck-do-you-do too, I thought and headed straight to the comfort room. And the CR, (surprise, surprise) was a ONE-CUBICLE type of CR, with a small mirror and counter on the side. And to make things MUCH, MUCH WORSE, (but not the WORST yet because the worst my dear readers, is yet to come) there was an old lady re-touching her make-up. I practically lunged inside the CR, didn't care if she was there and did my business.

Of course she got bothered and realized I was doing number 2. She went on cursing and stating the obvious that I am doing my business there... I prayed to God that the woman leave and she eventually did. And then as I finished, (thank you jeebuz there's tissue in there) I realized..

...the flush wasn't working.

Howdy-fuck-de-ho.

MORAL LESSON: If it's glistening like diamonds are in it, stay away. Faaaar away.

That's me anticipating a scrumptious donburi at TERIYAKI BOY. No Tokyo Tokyo for me... no sir.

Tigers Win After 10 Years... literally.

2006-10-03T18:18:00.000+08:00

At the moment: happy

I was watching at home (was too slow to get a ticket) when history happened. I was biting onto my pillow, I felt my heart beating crazy against my chest, the first time it happened in years. Every second felt too fast, too soon. Chris Tiu delivers that flawless, heart-stopping 3-pointer and then I said to myself Stop holding so hard onto the win Nicole... if it's not meant to be that's okay, we have nothing to lose

But we DID have something to lose. It's the chance, the opportunity that has slip our claws for almost 4 years. We're in the FINALS gundamitall! It's chance wagging its tail in front of our faces. GRAB IT. Devour it, for goodness sake, WIN IT.

Evangelista and Cruz are out, UST's top players. The chances are seriously slim with Tiu, Intal, Kramer and Escalona still intact and fueled with passion for their last game. There is hope, oh there is no doubt about that. I remember praying so hard my fingers hurt. I prayed even before the game went overtime. I prayed everytime Ateneo pulls a hack-a-japs and asked God to please, please help Japs get that free throw.

And when JC missed that last deciding shot.. I felt fresh, hot tears brim under my eyes. I clasped my hands tight, learned from game 1 that every second counts and that the game's not over yet, Cortez delivers the ball, gets fouled by an Ateneo rookie and then time (as well as my breathing) stopped.

I remember shutting my eyes.

When I opened them, I joined my brother in chanting, "Itay, ipasok mo yan maawa ka..." We called Jun Cortez "Itay" because well... he looks like one. No offense meant please, we love the tigers. He gets one in and I was still thinking, No, it's not over yet. Not yet... While the ball went in play, I couldn't bring myself to look at the clock, I watched like a hawk knowing fully well that Ateneo would pull "A Kramer" again like in Game 1. Only when the buzzer signalling the end of the game resonated did I realize, HOLY SHIT!! WE WON!!

The Underdogs, The Unexpected, The Underestimated... WON!

We really did! My screams probably reached neighboring houses but I didn't care. I jumped, I squealed, I hugged Julian.. I rejoiced like I'm in Araneta myself. They really did it... they made the Thomasian dream come true. Everyone I knew who were not Thomasians... friends from GSG, random acquaintances... all of them were rooting for Ateneo. And they aren't even from Ateneo, so imagine how it feels like being belittled even by people who aren't from the opposing team. They said Ateneo would win in a sweep. They said UST didn't stand a chance... It's like we're the big villains in Ateneo's success story and the only people rooting for UST are the Thomasians themselves. Normally people would root for the underdogs but in the case of the UAAP, it works the other way around. Same principle in the NBA I guess. If the Heat and the Rockets go head-to-head in the Finals, would people really root for the Rockets? I think not. "Kapit sa malakas" as my brother puts it, at least that's how it is when it comes to sports.

To the Tigers, congratulations guys! Savour this moment, you deserve it! No matter how many people who might tell you otherwise, remember that YOU DESERVE THIS WIN. You played the game, you beat them, you WON. The scores were distributed, everybody did their part. Dylan, Espiritu, Evangelista, Cruz, Cuan even Dizon and Canlas... you guys showed everyone that there is more to a team than their star player. You played like a TEAM. Coach Pido, congratulations you are an angel!

And to my fellow Thomasians, guys! Party tayo bukas!

Nerds on a Saturday Night

2006-09-24T19:44:00.000+08:00

At the moment: sniffling

Finally it happened. I finally went out clubbing on a saturday night after so many months of having a nonexistent social life. School drains you of vigor and the will to live.. that I firmly believe. And life has finally been pumped back to me last night.

Have you guys tried dancing at "The Basement" that small bar/disco in Eastwood? Yes? Well have you tried dancing there on a Saturday night?

Dancing with a huge crowd can be exhilirating. But dancing with a crowd huge enough to cause a fatal stampede is another thing. Girlie and I tried to enjoy it, we really did. But constantly being shoved by huge, burly men is far from our idea of enjoyment. And as if that wasn't enough, almost everyone down there were smoking. SMOKING GODDAMMIT! In a place where there is absolutely no windows, no exhaust and then packed with people grinding against each other... Breathing was a chore and I totally found a whole new meaning to the old song "Smoke gets in your eyes" It is PAINFUL. It got so bad, I left and stayed outside where the air was fresh.

Well.. at least pollution outside seemed kinder compared to breathing secondhand smoke in a cramped room.

Girlie's eyes probably hurt as much as mine did so the two of us stayed outside. It was just around 1am and yet we were already out of the dance floor.. how lame. Yes, I know... losers you might call us. But come ON! We could barely keep our eyes open in there! The fact that we can barely move and are consequently unable to deliver our killer dance moves (nyardiharhar) makes matters worse. So anyway, what we did to shrug the sting in our eyes off is to walk around eastwood and try to blink the pain away. And to further enhance this recovery, we went to Starbucks to get ourselves (what else?) coffee!

I never appreciated a couch as much as I did at that time. All that body-bumping has made my legs hurt (even though I was wearing flats.. I can't imagine the pain if I was wearing heels!) so the soft couch cushioning my ass felt wonderful. Add the sweet aroma of cofee beans... the feeling was practically orgasmic. And there we got to talk about a LOT of things. Amazing what a decent couch and a cup of coffee can do.

We talked about how Brian Singer is an amazing director. And how X-MEN 3 sucked big time.. and why we prefer older men to guys our age when it comes to relationships.

So yes we spent the rest of the hours there and then met up with our other tired friends (the ones strong enough to withstand the godawful smoke in The Basement) They had breakfast... I said 'they' because Girlie and I were still in a "discussion" and this time it was about a plot I had in mind but never got to start because of a roadblock in construction. We fixed it by the way.

Anyway... that's how my saturday night went. Fun, huh?

Seriously, it really was! We got to dance a little and had barely a glass of vodka (too much ICE!! it tasted like liquified cardboard with tabasco sauce) but the conversation was what really made it fun. And I haven't really talked to Girlie or any of my HS friends that night for so many months already.

Whoever made the rule that party-and-drink-till-you're-hammered is the standard way to spend a Saturday night? I say put on those glasses, get your book or your laptop and bury yourself in there. It's still going to be fun... you won't get to make out with a stranger but at least it will keep you entertained. Admit it. There are times when you just HAVE to be a nerd on a saturday night... and then you realize it's not so bad after all. Admit it. ^__^

ON A SIDE NOTE: My heart got shattered to pieces with GAME 1 between UST and ATENEO. I swear nobody can talk to me decently after that... I almost cried. I mean I would've cried if I wasn't so angry. I mean we weren't EXPECTING to be in the finals but now that we are, there is this thirst to get the title. Everybody I know (who isn't from UST) is like "UST is okay but ATENEO will undoubtedly win this in the first 2 games" It breaks my heart you know? It's like the underdogs are further slumped in the muck and judged harshly even BY THOSE WHO DON'T EVEN WATCH UAAP! That's probably the worst. Anyway I'll leave this rant for another day. ^__^

Smacked and Dressed Up

2006-09-23T10:26:00.000+08:00

At the moment: getting ready

Before anything else... I just got smacked in iT2m today. It's a website I frequently visit.. I submitted my site there a couple of months ago ready for the run-down of what to do with my blog since they give straightforward, hard truth reviews.

I was supposed to get 2 smacks (which is an honestly GREAT thing!) but instead got uhmm.. a boot up my ass I think because of the popups my site torments all of you guys with. I'm so sorry.. I didn't know there were popups, I should've checked it without the blocker I guess.. now I'm off to find a way to stop the darn things.. ^__^

CHARLES R. said this about my blog:

I just love her template! I find it quite easy for my eyes and after being bombarded by some BTOD at least I deserved refreshment. The sidebar is okay but dear that tagboard must go since it is just an eyesore.

This is quite an interesting blog to read. Most of her write-ups are quite funny and I read most of her archives since I was so interested to know more about her. That is a good sign if I am digging on someone’s blog archives.

I'm really, really happy with the review. I thought my entries bore people a lot, I'm thrilled that someone else finds it interesting. Thanks Charles! I might be taking the tagboard down soon enough... but the popups.. the popups must die!!

Now on to little black dress matters. For the CATV Awards night, we are obliged to wear formal evening dresses. The theme is "Black and White" we can either wear black, white or black AND white. For someone like me, white is NOT an option. White is reserved for people with small thighs and even smaller waists. It's LBD for me. I saw these while searching for styles to look for when I eventually go out there and buy the dress:

Some classmates would even go as far as paying for custom-made dresses... and for what? For an awards night that would go for no more than 3 hours? Although... having custom dresses would be a LOT easier than going around malls looking for the perfect black dress.. shopping although it promises to be fun, can be quite the foot/ankle killer. They're paying for the convenience I guess.

Dress-ups like this usually excite me but if you're constantly low on cash (like I am nowadays) it's a chore just getting excited over it.

So which one is it? Ribbon or no ribbon?

I envy the Japanese

2006-09-19T11:20:00.000+08:00

At the moment: wants to take a shower

Don't get me wrong. I love being a Filipino. I love our weather, I like it that we can wear tank tops and shorts and mini skirts (well.. can we really?) without jackets or coats. I love how we can have ice cream every single day because we have the license to say that "it's hot!" every single day. I love how Filipinos suddenly turn into immediate brothers when the time of need arises (more of this in Wading through rat pee post) Doesn't matter if we're a bunch of people gone wild with democracy and elect actors for congress.. okay, that's another story.

A bunch of my friends are going to have a "Uniform Photo Shoot" sometime next week and I plan on joining. Why would we waste our time shooting ourselves in uniforms? Well, because we won't be using normal uniforms you silly..! we'd be using japanese-style uniforms!

I remember ever since I was a kid, or at least ever since I started liking anime, I wondered why uniforms in the Philippines differ so much from Jap style ones. I really wanted to wear short skirts and knee-high socks to school.. and even that cute little vest they wear on top of their blouses. But then again, schools here would freak out if your skirt is just a little bit higher or a little bit longer than the standard length. During my time, it's 3 inches below the knee and anything more or less than that is a violation of the school uniform code.

Let's take a look at this:

notice how our skirts look like granny skirts compared to the jap ones..

Ugh.

I have this really cute pink mini skirt with ruffles which I think would only look good with striped knee socks and sneakers. But of course, I can't wear it like that or people would think I'm cosplaying or something. I'd be lucky if I wouldn't get sneers and backbiting comments. Filipinos can be such.. meddlers sometimes. >.<

I'm not saying I'd want to be outrageous and shock everyone with layers upon layers of mix-matched clothing. I just want the freedom to wear whatever I want. It's freedom which I technically have but hindered by conservative Filipino society... and weather probably since we can't exactly wear thick coats and multi-layered socks in this kind of weather.

Yeah... that's it.

Adobe Premiere Pro... we meet again

2006-09-16T18:03:00.000+08:00

At the moment: tinkering with videos

Have you wondered where I have been during the past few days? Yeah as if you care right? But I'm telling you anyway.

After TV Production squeezed us out of our minds one last time, I went into a drifting hiatus. All the stress snapped away in an instant leaving me lost with nothing to do. Every day of my week used to be so full, almost to the point of spilling with so much work that needs to be done. Most of which is TV Production's fault. Haha! So now that it's finally over (God... it really is, isn't it?) I'm caught in a daze. Suddenly, I absolutely had nothing to do, I have so much time in my hands it's driving me delirious.

So I went on a couple of dates with Julian and slept longer than usual. It's more a treat than it actually sounds really. During TV prod, Julian and I both felt neglected even though we understood that we both had stuff to do. I also took advantage of this time to finally go shopping at 168 and finally buy my first pair of pumps. Heels thinner than my index finger. It's shoes for the ladies.. haha! A kid I no longer am. Thanks yoda.

After a couple of days I found out that the opening sequence I edited for our show was nominated for BEST OBB in the school's CATV awards. If you want to view the clip it's right HERE. But of course, after I found out it was nominated, I had to edit it and make it look more presentable. Last time I faded out the word "shit" from the song since we were a bit nervous about the higher-ups minding that. We're a school ran by priests so you get the point right? However, after watching it a few times, I realized that "shit" doesn't stand out much and unless you know the lyrics of the song and listen with utmost concentration, you wouldn't recognize a cuss word has slip by you already.

I opened Adobe Premiere Pro and had the mixed feeling of longing and disgust. I've been editing for over a month now and this interface has been the cause of so many tears and frustrations.. and laughs too.

So while I have my dramatic reunion with Adobe Premiere Pro, I'd like you guys to watch this.

Love sucks for a lot of men. They say women got it bad because all we can do is just wait around like pieces of meat until someone notices our worth. A fact which I absolutely agree on. Men have the liberty to choose and oftentimes, women end up saying "Oh well, I better settle for this one, there may not be anyone anymore who'd be attracted to me" but then again men with their power to ask girls around to be their girlfriend sometimes have it bad too. In the end I guess love sucks for people who don't exactly fit the beauty standards of the world. Man or woman, love or even just a certain part of it sucks for us.

Watch this everyone! ^__^ (WARNING: may be a little violent to some conservative minds)

Sad.... but true? You tell me.

Wacked and APO?

2006-09-13T18:53:00.000+08:00

At the moment: weee!

They say it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Ergo, it is easier to smile than to frown since it takes less muscle contractions to do so.

To hell with that.

Frowning.. or in my case, making distorted faces is a turdmile easier than smiling. I noticed that while looking at my recently taken pictures. I usually purse my lips, stick my tongue out or make faces in what I would like to think are surprised expressions.. You might think that I'm just trying to be cute. But seriously, I am just too lazy to try and give a decent smile for the cam. Like most people, I still haven't found my perfect smile yet. Everytime there's a cam, I'm flustered thinking about how wide my lips are supposed to stretch, should I show some teeth or not, are my gums showing... you know, completely stupid things like that. Yes, I wonder and ponder about it during the "1... 2... 3... CLICK!" moments... a freak indeed I am. Thanks yoda.

1... 2... 3... wacked!

Okay... now that that sudden burst of narcissm is over and done with, let's move on to happy matters!

When song artists make a tribute album to another band/artist, instead of buying that album and listening to the new versions, I end up looking for the originals and reliving the magic it had that made it worthy for a tribute album. When Ultraelectromagneticjam came out, I suddenly clicked on my eraserheads playlist and was addicted to it for so many months. And now that Kami nAPO Muna is making waves in the scene, I find myself looking for original APO songs.. I was too young to be a fanatic during their time but I am familiar with almost all their songs. After all "'Sang Linggo nAPO Sila" was a show the family watched ever so religiously every afternoon back in the days. ^__^ Julian is the fanatic and he's actually condemning me that I am listening to APO only now.

But that's the point of tribute albums isn't it? For you to remember how good music was when they were playing it. For you to say... "Oh yeah... THAT's why they were such a hit back then!" Tribute albums give artists more respect than revivals... in my opinion. Please forgive me MYMP fans but I just simply refuse to get caught up in Juris' wonderful vocals when almost all she sings are other people's songs. I don't hate MYMP or anything but it annoys me that people forget who sang the original. (note: Expose a three-girl band originally sang "I'll never get over you [getting over me]") Juris has amazing vocals I'd give her that but sometimes I feel insulted that they're making so much money out of songs that aren't theirs. A few revivals here and there are okay but they made a name through someone else's music! There's no doubt about their talent in the technical aspect of music but what about their own vision? Their own songwriting skill? The stuff that made Eraserheads and APO so famous during their time?

Anyway I'd drop this because I know they have lots of fans and I don't really want to spur on a fight here.

"Mahirap Magmahal ng Syota ng Iba" is a cute, cute song! Please try to listen to the original! It's really cute! The arrangement is light and has that tinge of old-school waves to it. I honestly love it! The bass is endearing!

Long live Jim, Danny and Buboy! (Danny's my favorite.. haha!) Don't you just love the pants? hehe

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's.. YOUR BIRTHDAY!

2006-09-10T22:11:00.000+08:00

At the moment: excited to go shoe-shopping tomorrow

Before anything else... CONGRATULATIONS to UST Salinggawi Dance Troupe for bagging the big prize for the 5th time! I honestly get the tingles whenever I watch them perform. It's more than school spirit.. it's school pride. We're the ones who're usually bullied among the big universities anyway.. the underdogs as much as I hate to admit it. But when it comes to cheerdance competitions, I would fight to the death for UST's right for respect. Way to go guys! Congratulations also to FEU and UP. Damn...! FEU has gotten SOOOO good! While watching them, I swear I felt my heart racing with fear. Another year and those guys would take on the cheerdance competition by a frickin' hurricane. UP's stunts are innovative and sometimes come downright shocking. It was a good game... a good fight. Congratulations to everyone!

My chinese friend celebrated his birthday today. Being one who doesn't like big gatherings, crowds and noise, he just treated us to lunch. We ate everything we wanted at Pizza Hut (well he IS chinese you know.. he has lots of.. uh.. cash) and if it weren't for my boyfriend who arrived late, we wouldn't be able to finish everything we ordered. We had pizza (the huge one), pasta (separate orders), fish fingers (shared) and salad (separate orders).. after my first pizza, I suddenly realized my stomach couldn't handle it anymore. No, I did not take a dump after that, (you sick, sick person) I just stopped eating altogether and refused to move.

Now my other chinese friend Karla and I decided to make things a little livelier for him since he (birthday boy) has never experienced a birthday party before. We talked to the waiters and asked if they could fix a little something up like a cupcake with a candle or something... and you guys know what they did?

A BUNCH of them (like 5 waiters.. ALL MALE) stood in a row and then one of them suddenly shouted, "HEY GUYS! IT'S LYLE'S BIRTHDAY!!"

And then they started singing a birthday song... with VERY LOUD VOICES. I hope I made it clear that they were practically YELLING the lyrics out. They even plopped a jester's hat on him! Lyle, the poor thing, honestly didn't know what to do... he was speechless and shocked and probably disturbed since the waiters sounded like the masculados. Actually, Julian and I were half-expecting they'd strip their aprons off or something. The weird song ended and the waiters returned to their stations... life was back to it's normal order once again.

I thought Lyle would hate us for doing that (we HONESTLY didn't expect that those waiters would be THAT into it! I swear!) but to our relief, he was actually pretty touched. Hehe... As I've said, he has never celebrated his birthday before... since he was a kid, he'd lock himself up in his room and play video games whenever his birthday comes. I'm glad he appreciated it because we really just wanted him to feel special because well... he is. He may be a little quirky and childish but he's still our quirky, childish friend.

first pic is Lyle jester hat and all.. and Therese his girlfriend who's also one of my close friends.. next pic is me and Julian.. Karla's behind me.. haha

As for me, I celebrated my birthday with a big party up until I was 7. I was the first kid in the family.. and people love showering the only kid in the house with parties and cakes and gifts.

I remember hotdog-marshmallow-kebabs artistically adorning a cabbage wrapped in tin foil.

I remember pabitin... I remember my uncle cheating and getting me all the good stuff just because I'm the birthday girl. I remember pin the tail on the donkey... YES, I experienced that game firsthand and no we didn't accidentally pinned it on someone's butt. Pinning it on someone's ass is just something films fabricated, it's not real and it's corny. Anyway, my parties were always complete with games and clowns and gifts and the dreaded newspaper dance. Oh and who would fail to include the staple game, Trip to Jerusalem? Gawd...

My folks took my birthday WAY too seriously... like those waiters in Pizza Hut did with Lyle's birthday.

But then again... why not? It IS the day of your birth after all. You're the biggest coincidence that ever happened in your parents life. There were millions of sperm.. there were so many chances of a different egg cell. It just so happens that there was a particular sperm and a particular egg that formed... YOU!

Ugh. Now I'm grossing myself out.

Wacked OBB and Random Things

2006-09-09T11:11:00.000+08:00

At the moment: for the first time in several weeks.. CALM.

I've been reading Stephen King's Misery in-between work during these past few days. During those scarce little minutes that I hang my mouth open with nothing to do... I barely finish 2 pages a DAY but I'm thankful I could at least do that much. The story's getting better though.

Anyway... I'm going through a terrible dry spell.. I can't post anything if my life depended on it. So now I would just leave you with a sample of the things we do in TV Production. Here's a sample OBB, the opening sequence you see introducing a tv show. I edited it and we shot the raw video in our garage. We sang the "meow, meow" thing and I also made the logo.. so yeah, we're pretty proud of it so I hope you appreciate it too ^___^

Forgive the bar and the tone, it's needed in creating VTR's like this.. ^__^

BONUS:

I was tagged by Donya Quixote to post five random things about me. But I won't be tagging anyone else.. I'm too lazy.. sorry donya ^__^

1.) I like Disney songs and I listen to them whenever I work on videos. My current favorite is "Forget About Love" in Aladdin 2.

2.) I LOVE skirts. I own at least 10 skirts and only have 2 pairs of pants (I wear pants only when I really, REALLY have to).

3.) When I was a kid, the first song I learned was "Sana'y Wala nang Wakas" by Sharon Cuneta.

4.) I love to act. I once thought that I can be a theatre artist. But all that's just a childhood dream now... fate steered me in a different direction. ^__^

5.) I can't relate well with my family. Sometimes I think I'm born in the wrong family.. the wrong set of people. hehe

Wading through rat pee

2006-09-04T22:11:00.000+08:00

At the moment: aching

A normal rainy day in the life of a Thomasian.

Our lit Agamemnon play was a success even though the music was a bit screwy. Our professor liked it and that's all that counts. She liked it that even minor parts were given importance and that all of the members were really "in character" I wasn't part of the cast since I directed the whole thing (I was assigned leader so I had no choice... damn, I wanted to act so bad too!)

Then my class ended.

My slice of hell began.

After an agonizing HOT day, things suddenly turned 360... rain was pouring like rocks on a cliff and we (my classmates and myself) find ourselves hopelessly stranded. This isn't really new to me since I've been dealing with this kind of problem since high school... UST has made me resilient and courageous against predicaments like these but this time, I just didn't want to wade.

There are a couple of reasons:

1.) It was already 9pm... the worse thing that you can do than wade, is wade in the fucking Dark

2.) I was alone. All my friends (yes.. ALL of them) lived in the Dapitan area while I (lucky-fuck-me) lived alongside Espana.

3.) My boyfriend sent me a message that said, "The water's not too high... but all the roaches came flying out of their holes.. I think their territory has been flushed out"

Who in their right mind ladies and gentlemen would wander off, in the dark, wading through roaches and rat pee and animal dung? I was frightened. And besides, I still had that issue with my left leg right? The red itchies? Remember? So I think I have a perfectly good excuse to be terrified. Yes, in my almost 7-year stay in UST, I was terrified to go out there. I used to be so smug about it you see... I'm not the squealy type who'd bitch about her shoes getting wet. I don't care much about my shoes. What I would want more is to get home. But now... I find myself reluctant in going out there and testing my fate. Yes... I was mortified.

BUT of course, if I didn't muster up the guts to WADE MY WAY BACK HOME (yes.. I waded ALL THE WAY) I would probably still be in UST... stranded, alone... and starving. The starvation I think, is the worst part of it all. So armed with the urge to take a nice long bath and a hot meal (the only thing I've eaten all day is half a bag of Mr. Chips) I leaped forward.

I must admit, wading with all those people (there was a pretty big number of them who, like me, wanted to take their destiny in their own hands) was more comforting than going through it alone. The crowd is also useful for deciphering the shallow and deep parts of the flood. Somebody shouts "MANHOLE!" and you'd know immediately where to place your foot. People are also considerate... and I realized that tragedy really do make people friendly. I made a bunch of friends just by laughing at comments like "Kawawa yung babae! Patalon talon pa siya sa mga bato.. nadulas din naman.. Wala rin.." People seriously helped each other get through the whole thing. People you wouldn't even give a second glance in a normal situation would hold your hand and guide you across the 'black sea' as if you were their own child.

I got home safely... wet with dirty water at least up to my knees. My shoes are ruined, I'm sweating all over (it's a work-out wading through currents you know.. >.<) and my hunger subsided (DRATS!) So yeah... I'm all good. At least I'm not itching.

Well, I'm just thankful I successfully waded my way back home before the rain started to pour again. Thank you God!

When You're Smiling

2006-09-02T21:04:00.000+08:00

At the moment: happy.. goddamn happy

I therefore conclude that photo ops can make a person's day.

As I have been telling you guys (endlessly) about, TV Production has taken a huge chunk of my 24 hours. And for this day, we had our OBB shoot. It's the opening credits thing you see in TV shows. It was extremely fun! The concept for the shoot was brilliant and even though we were a bit down on the equipment (just a digicam and natural light) we were able to produce really good shots (if I do say so myself) This reminded me how much I'm jonesing for a camera. GAWD! I love my laptop and all that but I'd love it more if I had a camera. Haha! I never did care about cellphones and mp3 players (although I do care about iPod sometimes... haha) all the techie I'll ever need is my own computer (check) and an in-your-face camera. Yeah... that would be sweet.

So here are some snaps of how the shoot pulled through.

I hope you enjoy them.. I can't make any sensible posts right now because I can barely breathe with all the schoolwork jammed up our asses. I will, no, I SWEAR I'll give you guys a good read next time.

Can you guess who the girl with the red bow headband is?

We live and breathe gossip

I wasn't trying to give you the finger I promise!

empty seat beside me...

I still can't get over the fact that we were just using natural light. The make-up looked perfect, the background (which we made ourselves as well) and the big red chair my lolo loved to sit on matched perfectly well (you'd barely see it in my solo wacked-up picture)

Once I manage to upload the video, I'll post it up. ^__^

HERE's the UNEDITED, RAW version of my part of the video:

20 Shots on the Leg

2006-08-29T21:06:00.000+08:00

At the moment: about to be very very busy

20 shots on the leg. Yes... I've had needles stuck in and out of me for more than 20 times.

Let me tell you how my trip to the dermaologist went:

As I've indicated in my earlier post, I've been itching like mad on my left leg. And it seemed to get worse this morning when red spots were spreading on my leg. So I practically flew to the medical arts building in UST and had it checked. I was itching soo bad I almost cried while on my way there.

After waiting for about an hour and a half, it was finally my turn. THANK GOD the place was air-conditioned, if it weren't, the itch would've been unbearable.

When it was finally my turn, the doctor took a closer look at my leg and immediately said, "Insect bites"

Doctor: Do you have a dog?
Me: No
Doctor: A cat?
Me: No
Doctor: Well... some other person probably carried that insect and now it feeds on you. So what we're gonna do is get rid of the toxin in your system and then what YOU should do is bomb your room with baygon or any insect killing product.
Me: How are we going to do the toxin part?
Doctor: We have to inject the medicine on the bite itself since the toxin is too deep already
Me: Oh I see.. that's okay I guess

I forgot to add that Julian was with me at that time. He's the one who asked all the important questions.

Julian: How much is the shot?
Doctor: 350, it covers everything including the consultation.
Julian: Oh so you're going to inject her once and that's it?
Doctor: No... I'm going to do it to every insect bite she had.

My heart stopped for a moment as I reexamined my condition. My leg is practically covered with insect bites. I have about 10 bites on my shins alone. My thighs have more.

Oh. My. God.

But the urge to stop the itching is greater than my fear of needles and blood. I was desperate to end my agony. So I said yes, let's do it and proceeded to the examination room to get my leg clobbered. The doctor told me to strip my pants off but since it was loose, I just rolled it up to my thighs until the last bite was seen. So I sat there, awaiting my doom as I looked out the window. Here's how the clever doctor executed her work:

Doctor: Who was that guy?
*OW*
Me: My boyfriend..
Doctor: He's older than you isn't he?
*OUCH*
Me: Uh.... yyy---yyeah.. 4 years.
Doctor: Wow.. I knew it, he looked much older than you. Are you both from UST?
*OUCH!! GAWD!!*
Me: Yyy..yyes...
Doctor: Ah so he's finished already? What course?
*OOOOOUUUUCCCHHH!!!!! FUUUUCK!!*
Me: E..EEEEE...EE--C---E. ECE!
Doctor: Ah and your course?
*FUCK!!! OWWW!!!*
Me: Comm... Comm... Communications.. COMM ARTS!!

You can probably see how the rest of the shots went. It's like a trivia game but for every right answer I make, I get a free shot. Please don't tell me I'm acting like a baby. To tell you honestly, the first few shots were absolutely nothing... but if you're already in your 7th, the pain starts to sting more. You realize, Holy shit, I have tons more! and then the pain registers more clearly.

The last time I had a needle penetrate through me was that time I was suffering from gastritis and the doctor wanted to check if there was something wrong with me other than dyspepsia. She told me to have my blood checked. It was a lot less painful since it was a one-time thing but the part where the needle actually leaves my flesh hurts damn MORE than the "20 shots of doom"

After the whole ordeal, I felt a little better and walked a LOT slower. My leg was bleeding in more than 20 places and that, as masochistic as this may seem, made me laugh really hard. Julian and I were walking out the door and I didn't know which hole to cover up first. Blood was trickling in so many places, I was frantic to cover everything up. The situation striked me as funny and then I ended up not covering anything up and allowing it to trickle. It will clot sooner or later, I thought.

I would've posted a picture of it but I figured it might gross everyone out. Haha!! And I'm not exactly comfortable showing a leg covered in red spots and trickling with blood. Haha!! See you around guys! Thanks once again for visiting! ^__^

Ma Mon Luk Special Siopao

2006-08-28T20:53:00.000+08:00

At the moment: sneezing and itching

I think I have allergies. I just don't know from what. Yes... My whole left leg is itching like bloody fuck and I'm sneezing and snivelling like a messy fucktard (thanks to iT2m for the term).

Yes... fuck. fuck. fuck. Allow me to curse, I am suffering here.

But even if I'm suffering, I would still, by God, post in this little blogspace of mine.

Let me muse about Ma Mon Luk ladies and gentlemen. There's about 2 branches left standing in the Philippines, one in Quiapo and one in Banawe. And if you haven't heard of it or you're too young to have heard of it, I highly suggest you try eating there. Just try the usual combo: mami at siopao. You don't have to be adventurous and try their chicken, just the usual mami and siopao would do.

There is something magical about Ma Mon Luk. Maybe it's the fact that the place looks like a run-down factory.

The moment you step inside you'd think you just went back to Cubao back in the early 90's. Not just Cubao but effing CUBAO SHOEMART! COD even! Gah.... To old-timers who read my blog, you know what I'm talking about guys. Inside Ma Mon Luk, people seem to magically change into early 90's costumes. Straight cut jeans, colorful blouse prints and BIG hair.. you can practically hear Sharon Cuneta sing "Sana'y Wala Nang Wakas" in the background.

I am so not exaggerating.

Their Mami at Siopao would friggin kick you to gastro-heaven! It's a bit costly for something so staple like mami and siopao but it is seriously, SERIOUSLY good. The siopao particularly sent tears to my eyes when I sank my teeth on it. I used to think Hen Lin made the best siopao... but now I know, Ma Mon Luk beats them by a mile. Their siopao is not only goooood, it's freakishly HUGE too! What more, tell me dear friends, what MORE can you ask for?

Julian: Hey do you know the controversy Ma Mon Luk had to go through about their Siopao?
Me: Yeah.. that it was made from cats right?
Julian: Yeah..
Me: *pauses for a bit* Well.. I didn't know cats tasted so good! I just might take care of a few..
Julian: hahaha!!

I would've posted how the siopao and mami looked like but I think I "accidentally" devoured it ALL before clicking the shutter button.

P.S.
If you're suffering from itch-attacks like me, KATINKO is like heroin. It feels so goooood you want to keep applying it even if it doesn't itch anymore.. yeaaahhhh....

Ang Bagong Paraiso (The New Paradise)

2006-08-26T22:33:00.000+08:00

At the moment: FINALLY breathing

My Filipino prof told us to read "Ang Bagong Paraiso" by Abueg.

It's basically about two kids, a boy and a girl growing up together and then being separated forcefully by the inevitable event called adolescence. Their parents pulled them further and further apart and filled their minds with malice. "Masama. Bawal. Tukso" these words baffle Cleofe and Ariel as their parents keep bombarding them with it as they grow up. Their parents drove them forcefully apart because they fear that these two might get distracted from their studies and elope.

Their parents didn't know that by driving their kids apart, their longing gets stronger every single day they spend apart. Not being able to play togethere in the beach and their favorite tree was something painful for Cleofe and Ariel because in their mind, there is nothing wrong. Why is it "improper" for a boy and a girl to run around in the field and play tag? It used to be okay back then, why is it not possible now? These questions fueled confusion which in turn blossomed into deviance.. In the end, these kids made the biggest mistake of their lives. All because they were deprived of contact. Was it even reasonable?

This story made me think a bit...

Is it advisable to stop your children from having romantic relationships while they're teenagers?

Is the rule "No boyfriends till you graduate" still an effective method to steer teenagers away from the dark path? Or will it only aggravate the curiosity leading to bigger mistakes? (just like what happened to Cleofe and Ariel)

When the time comes that I have my own kids, how am I going to talk to them about sex? Would I talk to them about sex at all? Ideally, I would like to educate them about it as soon as they're ready, I'd rather them learn about it from me rather than their friends (who are most likely equally clueless about it) or worse, from the internet! I can only imagine my own kids finding out about sex through porn.. that's the worst kind of exposure they'll ever get.

The dilemma still lies though... if I do expose the idea to them, would it spark curiosity rather than responsibility?

One thing I'll never do (and I really hope I don't) is drive my kids away from the opposite sex. It will really only make them long for each other more. And depravation is an unbelievably powerful thing. It can drive any man to his limits and out of his own rational mind. If one does not understand the reason of his punishment, he will do everything in his power to fight authority.. to fight the injustice of it all.

I wasn't allowed to have boyfriends till I graduate too. But I had my first one in grade 5. I don't think someone's curiosity can ever be controlled. Instead of strictly forbidding my soon-to-be kids to have romantic relationships, I would probably just tell them that if ever they do have one, they'd tell me. I grew up keeping my boyfriend/s a secret from my parents which was fairly easy considering they were working abroad. My mom, in her desperate effort to find out stuff about me, read my diary and I caught her red-handed. I can still taste the anger I was trying so hard to control when I saw her reading through my diary.

I wouldn't want to be that kind of mom. I wouldn't want to be the kind of mom who'd resort to invading her kid's personal space just so he/she'd open up to me.

Anyway....

NEW LAYOUT! Yes I'm back to my original orange scheme. Rachel is so cute isn't she? I'd just love to dress her up in striped socks and lolita shoes. How cute.

Sorbeterizing

2006-08-22T18:56:00.000+08:00

At the moment: So tired I can barely keep my eyes open

If you have been reading this blog, you would know that I've been editing videos for the past few weeks, painstakingly might I add... As I've said before, I'm a noob on overtime so things are tough as jerky.

Let me explain a little bit of what goes on in the life of the sorbeters.

We have a course on TV Production. And in this course, we make tv shows (haha yeah very funny captain obvious) and everyone in the group gets a chance to taste how it is to be a Director, a camera person, a VTR person, audio, Technical director... the works. For this week, our funny sadist prof commanded us to produce 3 shows this week when in fact, our regular routine was ONE friggin show per week. So imagine the hassle, imagine the insanity. It's like doing a three week's worth of work in one! Gawd!

And in this three shows (and in all the other shows we're going to produce) I will be editing the VTRs. So let's click on the logic button everyone. I'd be doing SIX TIMES more work than some of my groupmates. I am not only going to be a talent, an audio person, and a camera man but I will also be using my time spent at home for editing. YES. There is no such thing as break in my current dictionary. I am living and breathing TV Production.

Oh and on top of all that, I'm making a script for a play... I am "sorbeterizing" something Aeschylus wrote. It's not easy reading through 44 pages of Agamemnon and adapting the idea into a contemporary play.

Come to think about it, instead of bitching about it in my blog, I think I'll just go on ahead and use every second of my time to finish all the work.

Here's the little smiles in between the work:

Handpainting is teh greatest!

Me and Karla with "Mario" just outside the studio

After our Mario Bros. edition of Thomasian Trends

After the SCA-LUV-ARTS show

Haaay... ^__^

Rape is so not cool anymore

2006-08-20T08:55:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Coughing my brains out

I used to think that the "rape scene" is the best form of porn. There's something appealing about the whole idea of being chased around by a hot guy for sexual satisfaction. A little amount of violence is tolerable for me. Just a little though.. when the girl is screaming in pain, that's not appealing anymore, that's just plain sick. But I got a whole new definition of sick when I happened to watch "The Hills Have Eyes"

There is no word to describe my disgust

Ugh. Gawd.

Having forceful sex with a hot guy is one thing... being fucked by a nuclear mutant with boils and crooked teeth and (it follows really) a horrific stinking breath is a whole other world. It was gawd-awful SICK! With that kind of face alone, you wouldn't want to fucking IMAGINE how his fritchin penis looks like... imagine watching that dismangled pile of human parts raping a teenager! I can take gore, I can take violence but show me another scene like that and I'll puke all over your couch. Believe me, I wanted to fucking bomb them so bad. I don't care if they're nuclear experiment "victims." I'll fucking kill them all.

I happened to watch another western horror flick tonight.. this time, "Wolf Creek" The dreaded rape scene was present but I don't think it pulled all the way through. The villain did some weird things though that deserved my vomit. He was rubbing the girl's head on his.. yeah, there. Wait, before you completely freak out, he was still wearing pants (if that's any consolation, I hardly think so)

Ugh.

Now I'm just feeling sick. I think I'm going to bed now.

The Snot-O-Minator

2006-08-18T00:07:00.000+08:00

At the moment: NEED SLEEP!

I was so ready.

GAWD! I was really, REALLY ready.

Imagine taking a nice, long bath. You wear a t-shirt over your nice little cotton panties. Refreshed, you practically tiptoe back to your room, humming a Mozart composition as you do so. You slid under a thin dark blue blanket your mom gave you a few years ago. It was the rare good one out of all the Philippine Airlines blankets your mom brings home to you when she visits from Saudi Arabia. It immediately absorbs your smell, wrapping you in a light scent only Dove's bath gel can do. You close your eyes eager to take that trip to dreamland.

When suddenly, you realize "SHIT! I CAN'T BREATHE!"

You look for good ol' Vicks inhaler (those things are goddamn weed in disguise I tell you) but found nothing but a bunch of ointments. Frustrated, you lie down in bed and try to sleep it off. You turn to your side, roll over like a futching hamster, lay on your back, your belly, hell even your damn chubby arms when you realize yet again... you can't breathe.

Frustrating is such a mild word to describe this ordeal. Tried sleeping up? YES. I was sitting and trying to get some sleep a few minutes ago before I lost all hope and turned my laptop on. As it turns out, I STILL couldn't breathe properly even while sitting up. It's like a nasty trick. Whenever I try to sleep, my pudging nose just gets stocked up with what seems like hardened snot. I wouldn't know.. I can't get it out if it saved my life. I tried blowing it out forcefully but that just popped my eardrums. I don't have any plans of popping my eardrums the whole night.

So now it's 1:00 in the fricketing morning. I have an important production tomorrow, a doctor's appointment, well it's not really an appointment, it's more of barging in at the clinic and demanding medication, and I have to stay at school until 9 fucking o'clock. Yay me.

I can deal with the runny nose thing. I'm even willing to be caught in public with snot dripping on my nose but please let me SLEEP! I WANT to sleep. I NEED sleep. Sleep is good.

Me in a pitiful state of hopelessness

In case Captain Obvious was unable to point out, that picture wasn't taken just this night. That isn't even my bed. And if you're asking what in the nine world's possessed me to bend like that, squint my right eye, stick my tongue out and stretch my arms upward, let's all just assume that at that time, I HAD sleep.

In times like these, I wish I had a Snot-O-Minator. It's a mini vaccuum the size of a spoon specially designed for your nose. You'd stick the little hose and plug it in your nostrils. Then you turn the damn thing on and the little sucker just squeezes you dry of snot. Yeah. That would be sweet. So what if some parts of your brain gets sucked in the process? At least you'll have a good night's sleep. And right now, that's all what matters to me.

Note: the Snot-O-Minator is a figment of my imagination so please don't try to look for it at SM supermarkets. Don't spread the word too because those Vicks Vaporub folks might go out of business because of my brilliant idea.

Ah-hah! I found YOU!

2006-08-16T20:39:00.000+08:00

At the moment: resting

Even the "peace" sign looks frustrated.. >.<

I've been editing videos for the past week and would still be doing so next week (and the week after that... and the week after that until September 14) I've only started learning Adobe Premiere Pro this past week so that makes me a noob on overtime. I learn as I go along the way and let me tell you that it's not fucking easy.

My classmates go on ahead and shoot the videos, they make props, they paint, they cut.. they friggin mold but me? I just stay in front of the laptop ALL day. It's the last thing I see before I shut my eyes to go to bed and it's the first thing I see when I open them the next day.

You think it's easy? Just because I use my fingers, my ears and my head, not breaking a sweat... you think I have it easy?

N-O.

Editing is probably the most frustrating and body-taxing job of all. I'd rather inhale paint fumes and cut my finger with a scissor (does that happen?) than do the editing job. I'm awake almost all day staring at the goddamn screen the whole day. It's not good you know? What's more frustrating probably is the blasted waiting. The rendering is the queen bitch in editing. It is unescapable. But it has to happen.

And right now I'm sick. I have a nasty cold, cough and a slight fever. I feel limp and weak and unable to make any rapid movements. Ugh...

NEXT topic:

Have you ever been curious enough to search your ex on Friendster just to see how he has been since your break-up? You don't want to do anything particular, you just want to see how his life went on for him because for even just a brief time in your life, he has been a part of you.

I have felt that curiosity and sometimes, I act on that urge. but it's almost never successful. I usually forget their whole names. Yeah.. it sucks to be me.

Another question: are you still on speaking terms with your ex?

I'm not.

Not a single one of them remained to be my friend. So I think the "let's be friends" thing is bullshit all in all at least judging from my experience. I have this certain ex.. the one whom I had the WORST falling out with. We were just too different to begin with... he loved hardcore rock music and hung out with all his rock-worshipping friends while I (yes, you can guess) am a computer nerd who stayed at home. I loved books as he loved his drumsticks. I loved writing as he loved 'jamming' We were too different. There wasn't even the slightest chance of us complimenting each other.

To cut everything short, the break-up was pretty bad. A lot of cursing, name-calling and Friendster bulletin board bashing happened before the relationship finally came to rest.

Now instead of me looking for him and finding out how his life has been, I checked my friendster profile and lo and behold! He added me to his friend's list.

I hesitated on whether I should accept his invitation or not. He had been pretty mean to me on our last meeting... no wait, he was one big nasty son of a bitch the last time we had an encounter. He was posting all sorts of curses aimed at me in a public place such as.. yes, the friendster bulletin board. He had called me names no man has ever called me before. He was a jackass. He treated me like we never had a relationship.

Anyway... in the end, I decided to accept his invitation. It has already been almost 3 years since that incident and I think it's time I should drop the whole defensive wall. I'm still a bit nervous though because even though it has been years since one of us is available to the other for contact, there is a slight chance that hostility would still be in the air. We never patched things up. We just moved on with our lives and acted like neither one of us exist.

So now he exists once more at least in my friendster list. But I'm confident, I'm confident about my currently strong relationship with Julian. Actually, I'm extremely proud with what I have become since we broke up. I am proud to tell him (if I'd even speak to him, which is highly unlikely) that I finally found the guy who understands me and who I would want to spend the rest of my days with. If you haven't figured it out by now, that ex is my last one before Julian.

If he would talk to me again, I would probably talk to him too. In a detached, diplomatic way only though. I don't think I can ever talk to him again in a friendly sort of way which is a good thing. I prefer things that way. ^__^

Tagged by Pam ^__^

2006-08-16T10:04:00.000+08:00

I'm a complete virgin when it comes to these things so yeah, I'm pretty excited.

i was tagged by Pam

Rules:

1. Emphasize all lines that apply to you.
2. Tag five more people after you finish, complete with links to their sites.
3. Let the person you've tagged KNOW that they've been tagged, for Pete's sake.

I wish I was a different ethnicity.
I have an eating disorder.
I'm short.
I'm tall.
I think I'm really attractive.
I prefer winter over summer.
I'm a geek.
I'm a shopaholic.
I'm reasonably intelligent.
I'm attracted to girls.
I'm attracted to boys.
I like British accents.
I smoke regularly.
I drink regularly.
I smoke socially.
I drink socially.
I get drunk easily.
I do drugs.
I will never date a bad kisser.
I've lied to avoid kissing them again.
I brush my hair at least 50 times a night.
I'm religious
I'm not religious but have morals.
I lie frequently.
I'm impulsive.
I'm hardworking. (Gawd, read my next post for an evidence of this)
I liked "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind".
"She's All That" is one of my favourite movies.
I'm good at History.
I speak more than two languages. (not fluently)
I enjoy taking pictures.
I like spending money on myself.
I like spending money on others.
I have a regular income.
I earn money on a job-by-job basis.
I pay my own bills.
I rely on my parents for money. (I'm stil at school geddemnit!)
I can cook.
I enjoy cleaning.
Tidyness is a must in my life.
I like clutter.
My idea of good music is Britney Spears.
I have heard of Blonde Redhead.
I enjoy Blonde Redhead.
I'm fashion-conscious.
I have good taste. (I would like to believe so)
People tell me I have good taste. (SOMETIMES.. haha others just tell me I'm weird)
I excel academically.
I'm told I have yet to fulfill my potential.
I'm good at sports.
I'm good at certain sports.
I couldn't do sports to save my life.
I'm creative.
I'm artistically inclined.
I wanna be an artist when I grow up.
I wanna be an engineer when I grow up.
I eat when I'm upset.
I cannot adapt to change.
I'm interested in politics.
I have shoplifted.
I download MP3s.
I've done underage drinking.
I've gone underage clubbing.
I can dance reasonably well.
I can dance extremely well.
I dance like a cardboard gorilla.
I can sing.
I sing like someone stepped on my foot.
I can swim.
I enjoy surveys.
I enjoy surveys when I'm bored.
I keep a journal.
My teachers don't like me.
I enjoy controversy.
I can be a bitch/bastard.
I have a thing for bad boys/girls.
I have tattoos.
I've been in a nudist colony.
I'm not sure if I want to have children.
I'm not sure if I'll get married.
I know who I will marry.
I'm interesting. (because I'm weird)
I'm a good liar.
People enjoy talking to me. [on a mutual basis only)
I annoy people from time to time.
I'm a born leader.
I'm a born leader but shouldn't lead.
I enjoy felching.
I have a foot fetish.
I have a shoe fetish. I watch "Sex and the City".
I don't think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty.
I wanna be J.Lo.
I cut myself.
I've cut myself.
I hate people who pretend to be suicidal.
I hate popular people.
I think cheerleading is a sport.
I'm photogenic.
I live in Chucks.
I think graffiti is art.
I have dated a criminal.
I have been cheated on.
I have cheated on someone.
I have a temper.
I like playgrounds.
I dance in the rain.
I'm obsessed with Shakespeare.
I have tanlines.
My favourite color is pink.
My favourite color is black.
I would classify myself as emo.
I'm musically inclined.
I like listening to music.
I like music-blasting cars.
Thongs are comfortable.
I like flip-flops.
I know what monogamy is...
...and I believe in it.
I wanna be a social worker when I grow up.
I have sibling/s.
My sibling/s annoy me.
I think "South Park" is funny.
I believe in LOVE.

Wow.. that last one was so cheesy it caught me off-guard. Anyways.. the people I have tagged are...

1.Utakgago
2.Masquerade
3.Urumi

(I could go only for three... have pity on the sick sorbetera... ^___^)

Grow up first

2006-08-11T19:45:00.000+08:00

At the moment: extremely tired

NOTE: Before you continue, make sure you have grown up already. If you squeal and/or cover your eyes at the sight of sex scenes, then please DO NOT CONTINUE READING THIS POST.

I have been reading this really cool webcomic: Questionable Content. Class A stuff... really, really cool. You should try visiting it! The comic is already on its 600+ page but starting at 100+ wouldn't bore you so go for it! (I finished the whole damn thing in one night!) Oh one other good thing about it is that it's updated EVERY WEEKDAY! Yay! (oh and it doesn't really have "questionable" content.. for all you conservative virgins out there, this webcomic is SAFE. No graphic offending stuff for you ^__^)

One of the characters there Dora, got my admiration and support (go get Marty!) I'm no goth (far from it actually) but I'm as comfortable talking about sex as she is. I don't see what the big deal is all about. Sex is sex. Almost everyone does it but very few talk about it. Not that everyone HAS to talk about it of course... I wouldn't want to hear the latest in everyone's sex life myself but why do people have to be so goddamn defensive about it?

I remember a classmate in high school... she was so blunt, her words sliced me in half (but left me laughing my friggin ass off). She approached me nonchalantly, as if aiming to borrow my notes or something. Her voice was clear, audible to me (and to three seatmates)

Classmate: Hey Nicole..
Me: What?
Classmate: I was told to come to you for advice
Me: About what?
Classmate: How to please a man in bed. You know... how can I make him feel good and stuff. I'm planning to do it with him this weekend.

I almost burst my insides laughing like a crazy idiot. The laughing probably went on for about a few more minutes until I realized she was serious. I wondered who told her to come to me for sexual advice. I was in no way an expert. And also, if this person who gave this "advice" to her assumed that just because I own hentai cds and let everybody else "secretly" borrow it.. (the fucking hypocrites) I am somewhat equivalent to a sex guru then I will strangle that person until he/she couldn't exchange spit with his/her partner for as long as they live.

It's really funny how some batchmates; those I barely even know visit my class and then look for me just so they can borrow animated porn. They borrow because they don't have the guts to buy it themselves. Ok wait... before you get the wrong idea, I'm not some porn-maniac who buys cds in Quiapo because I'm some sick desperate hag in need of a good lay. The cds I own are hand-me-downs from my uncle (who is teh REAL porn maniac) he throws them out and I take them in because it's just an awful waste isn't it? Other people (like my shy but obviously sexually frustrated classmates) can benefit from it.

Anyway, back to my straightforward classmate who needed tips on mating. I just told her some basic common sensical tips that would surely make ANYONE feel good. It's common sense people.. you don't need a sex educator to tell you what feels good and what doesn't.

But of course, being open to sex when you're still in high school stirs up some level of jealousy and hypocricy. I soon saw my name in the infamous cubicle of the girls CR..

*MY NAME* ng ST. DAMIAN, POKPOK, LASPAG, BASTOS, NAKAKADIRI
*MY NAME* of St. Damian is a whore. She's filthy, crass, disgusting

And probably a few hundred more adjectives synonymous to the ones above. Until now I have no idea who wrote those things about me in the girls comfort room. One thing is for sure, she's a friggin SHE (haha). And she's probably just jealous because

a.) her boyfriend probably borrowed a cd from me and now he won't even touch her anymore
b.) she's a friggin dyke.

Another thing is for sure, she's a friggin coward because she never confronted me and to think that she wrote that like, 3 days before our graduation. HAH!

Anyway, highly conservative readers of this blog would probably do the same. But hey, you don't have to read it all the way if you're offended by this kind of stuff. You always have a choice, the final say in what you reel in and what you throw out.

It sucks to be me

2006-08-09T09:06:00.000+08:00

At the moment: #%^&!!#&

For an enhanced reading experience, please download/listen to: Avenue Q - It sucks to be me

I am now searching every nook and cranny of every room in this house because I apparently lost my registration form. I need it to log in to UST eleap services so I can download Advertising notes for today's exam. YES, I am highly depending on it and now I can't log in to the friggin site because of the damn form! YES, I tried the forgot password thing and it didn't work. YES, I am screwed.

This is so frustrating.

I have always been inclined to forget things since as long as I can remember. (uh-huh.. yeah I can taste the irony) and please don't take this lightly. I really DO forget things most of the time. It would've been okay if it happens once in a while but NoooOOOoOOooo... I am constantly searching for things I misplaced. It's irritating because I am so sure I have kept it someplace safe... problem is, I DON'T REMEMBER where that safe place is!!

So sing with me now..

It sucks to be me..
It sucks to be me...
It sucks to be nineteen and having symptoms of senility
It sucks to be me!

Julian is so going to get mad at me. He usually does whenever I forget things (so it's safe to assume that he gets mad at me often.. nyaharhar) Julian if you're reading this, please don't get mad.. I honestly can't help it.

Oh well, I'll probably go to school earlier and leech notes from my classmates.

Reformat

2006-08-08T20:00:00.000+08:00

At the moment: panic-stricken

Lesson for the day folks: make a back-up for those files!

If you're a download whore like me and your drive is filled to the brim with MP3's, manga and heaps of pictures of "beautiful men" then what happened to me a while ago would most probably send you to a whirlwind of despair as it did to me. My laptop went into a wild hanging frenzy just a couple of hours ago. I suck at giving technical description so I would settle for: "my laptop just got screwed." Every program I opened froze upon initiation.

The culprit? A pesky USB flash drive.

Julian did almost everything to save my virtual self (read: my laptop). Luckily, system restore and ol' buddy Norton patched things up. (not entirely though.. I still feel that impending doom cowering overhead) so his advice was that I back all my files up and if the virus acts up again, we reformat the whole laptop and erase every blasted thing. Start anew. But next time, protect it more.

Hmm.. this kind of reminds me how I used to deal with relationships.

Before Julian, I was caught in the vicious cycle of dating. It's a lather-rinse-repeat procedure to me and every guy is the same. I would like to think of it as a phase. The instant my boyfriend screws up, I immediately run my "antivirus software" and eradicate the bug. I "reformat".. deleting all the files related to him and then start anew..

The problem with me is that I don't prevent future virus attacks. I just allow them to keep on coming believing that it will make me stronger. (I found out later that it didn't.. it just made me paranoid and arrogant) Having all that experience under my belt made me think I was invincible. Like there wasn't anything a man can do that will surprise me. I could predict every move.. from the very brief ligawan to the murky waters of a steady relationship.

I failed to realize though that by anticipating every bad thing that is going to happen, all the little good things has sped by without a trace.

That's how Julian surprised me.

There I was anticipating his next wrong move.. but he does none of it. Instead, he makes these surprisingly silly 'puppy love' antics. Like wearing another uniform so he can go inside the AB building and give me flowers.. like slipping another law inside the Philippine Constitution that says he vows to give me his life, liberty and property (or something to that effect.. check Article II section 5).. like how he sends me letters both virtual and old school.. basta stuff like that. Stuff that makes me smile just thinking about it.

Anyway, I've ranted long enough. It's time to get back to work.

P.S. To everyone who has voted for me in the poll, thank you very much ^__^ I a not expecting to win but support from you guys makes me feel like a winner. No, I am not sucking up. I'm just really, really touched. And to people who drop comments, I can't thank you enough.. you make blogging a very rewarding act.

Beautiful Men

2006-08-06T21:01:00.000+08:00

At the moment: CRAMMING

Because it's prelims week, I will be posting something simple, clean and completely pointless. Let me muse about beautiful men. No, I don't mean beautiful as in Anthony Hopkins beautiful or George Clooney beautiful. I mean beautiful-enough-to-not-be-a-man beautiful.

They are men who look good in being men and who STILL look good being women. Most of these beautiful men are those I see in korean movies and dramas.

Here's an example:

This is Lee Joon-ki. If you watch tagalized korean dramas, you've probably seen him in My Girl. Now I personally don't watch tagalized stuff since I'm an avid fan of subtitles but I do know that he's part of this drama shown on ABS-CBN (am I right? gawd.. I lack local tv knowledge) If you do watch it, I am sure you agree with me that with his fair, flawless skin, his strong and chiseled face, this guy is probably one of the most beautiful guys you've ever seen. Beautiful as in pretty. Beautiful as in "GAWD I WANT HIS SKIN!!"

Now this is Lee Joon-Ki in his latest movie hit, The King and the Clown.

It's UNFAAAAIIR!! Unfair I tell you!! God has blessed him way too much! How can he look good being a man and a woman at the same time? Try making a woman look like a man and she'd end up looking like a dyke. The prominent jaw is still there but come ON! You have to agree with me! He looks so PRETTY!! I can actually fall in-love with him.. as a MAN! See how serious it is? At least for me anyways.

Oh and the picture doesn't even do him any justice. Watch the movie and his very actions.. oh gawd, the way he MOVES! I swear he made all the girls in that movie look like a bunch of chimps.

If you have suggestions on who deserves the title "Beautiful Man" and you want me to write about him, post it in the comments section. I'll take a look at them ^__^

Oh well.. now back to my boring estudyante life. PRELIMS WEEK! *pulls hair in aggravation*

P.S. Guys.. if you have time (and patience) can you please vote for me for a spot in The Composed Gentleman's Blog of the Week? That is kung gusto niyo lang naman Visit his blog and the poll is in his left sidebar

Thank you thank you thank you thank you! ^__^

Bangus

2006-08-04T21:12:00.000+08:00

At the moment: terribly sad

Do you want to hear a story?

My last class for today ended around 8:30.. so I got home around 9pm. Julian was really hungry and asked if he could eat at my place. I wondered why the heck he was asking since he's practically part of the family already. Hunger creeped in when I was standing in front of our white gate and was rummaging my bag for the keys.

Julian knocked and my lolo opened the door for us. As soon as he laid eyes on me, he said "Kumain na ba kayo? Naku... wala na yatang pagkain! Konti nalang kanin.." I immediately thought that we should just buy food outside but my wallet reminded me that I cannot do that. (Damn TV Production sucked my wallet dry) I told Julian we wouldn't be able to eat in the house anymore but he was much more worried about me than of his own stomach. He asked if the food was enough for me and I was confident in saying 'YES' The food may be scarce but I'm sure folks at home would leave just enough for me.

I apologized to Julian but as I've said, he was more worried about me and reasoned out that he can eat dinner at work. I nodded him off and went straight to the kitchen to see just how much truth there is in my lolo's claim.

I found out that what was left was a small bowl of soup and less than a cup of rice in the rice cooker. Looking at it made me pity myself. Imagine being hungry... imagine anticipating the thought of home so you can eat a nice warm dinner... imagine going home to an empty dining table.

My lolo was so concerned that before I could even say anything he said "Sandali lang, bibilhan kita ng kanin tsaka ulam diyan sa kanto.."

He went out of the house in a dash and came back less than 3 minutes after... holding a small plastic bag of rice and bangus.

I sat alone on the barren dining table and ate my meal in peace. With every bite I took I felt gripping pain in my throat. No, it's not because of the fish (which was already cold) or the rice which was dry. I could live with that but the fact that I was left forgotten by members of my family pained me tremendously. I'm not asking for a feast in my name. It's just that... wouldn't it be nice if people remembered that you were coming home and would leave a bit of food for you? It isn't about not having food... it's about being forgotten. Maybe this is one of the cons of not having your parents beside you. You see, I'm living with my relatives so it can't be helped that the level of concern isn't as high. Actually, I would've understood it if we were broke and couldn't possibly feed all the members of the family. But we weren't.

I remember back when my mom was still here (yes, my mom again.. >.<) Whenever I came home late from school, she would leave some food for me on the table and then watch me as I eat it. She would just sit there, looking at me while I devour everything she has prepared. Even though I didn't make it to the normal dinner time, she'd make sure I wouldn't eat alone.

To those who still eat dinner with their families, please consider how lucky you are. Eating alone (though now Julian always keeps me company) is sometimes a good thing especially if you aren't comfortable with the other members of your family but as time stretches on, you'd realize how unbelievably sad it is. You may not agree with me but that's how it felt.

And you know what's more heartbreaking? My tita suddenly came down the stairs and saw me eating bangus from the plastic bag. She asked me what was I eating. I said lolo bought it for me because there wasn't any food left. She didn't say a word and headed on upstairs. I figured she probably didn't know that I could still hear her but she was saying to my other tita and the maid that I was eating fish bought from the carinderia sa kanto. That almost made me cry. Now that I think about it... I don't know why that made me cry.

I knew she was guilty and felt sorry for not leaving me food, you can sense things like that you see... But my tita has really weird ways of expressing guilt. She ended up nagging me about weird, small things like the hairbrush that I use, the time I spend online.. and stuff like that.

She could've just said sorry and got it over with but I guess guilt isn't her thing.

Mama... how do you...?

2006-07-31T22:22:00.000+08:00

At the moment: tired but won't sleep

Remember when we were kids, how we used to ask our mom for almost everything that needs to be done? We always knew our moms had an answer to everything. After all, wasn't she the one who patched your knee up when you fell on your bike? Wasn't she the one who invented the procedure of gulping a spoonful of sugar after your medicine? Wasn't she the one who magically makes your day brighter by serving just the right breakfast?

It was because of my mom that I took drawing seriously.

I was so frustrated of not being able to draw a decent caricature of a person that I ended up brawling and throwing tantrums one hot April day (yeah.. back in '93!) And as any kid my age at that time would have done, I seeked for my mom's help. She always had an answer to everything. She would surely know how to draw... right?

In truth, my mom (like almost every grown-up I know) completely suck at drawing. What she told me was, "You draw a letter U honey... and then you put hair and then eyes.. then the nose and the little mouth" At that time, it may have looked like a weird bean-like creature but to a 6-yr old me, it was the perfect picture of a real person. I never forgot that... "The Letter U" tactic. I'm still using it right now actually.. but in a more complex way of course. With my mom's instruction, I had a steady guideline and I took it from there. Now.. I draw fairly well. I'm no class A artist but I take pride in the fact that I can draw anime characters who look like anime characters and not incomprehensible blobs of what seem to be human limbs.

I remembered this because my youngest sister asked me to teach her how to draw just today. She was entering this slogan-making thing in school and she needed my help. I wanted to tell her "The Letter U" tactic but I figured it was useless since she'd be making a SLOGAN (yeah.. duh.)

It's weird isn't it? How we used to think our mothers have all the answers to everything. Now I rarely ask my mother for anything at all. Whatever I needed to know, I look for it in the internet, my friends, some more friends... anyone actually except my mother. There is one thing though that I've managed to ask her during her short one-month visit here in the Philippines (which was just last April):

Me: Mom... Is it really difficult giving birth?
Mom: Uhh... no. It's no big deal.. very easy actually.
Me: Was I a tough baby? I mean did I give you a hard time pushing me out?
Mom: (thinks for a moment) No... I remember the doctor giving me some kind of medicine and then I fell asleep. When I woke up, you were already in this world.

The first thought that came to my mind was "Holy shit, I'm adopted" I mean, how can she not know how her labor went? Did I just pop out of her when she was asleep?! Haha! But seriously, my mom made the whole pregnancy and labor thing sound soooo easy and sooo stress free that I honestly couldn't believe it. I have heard so many stories of agonizing labor and mothers screaming their lungs out in the delivery room, vowing never to have kids again. (and then come back a year later for another kid.. >.< Filipinos...) I've probably seen too many films. So on to the conversation.

Me: Mom.. I'm having really irregular periods... will it be difficult for me to have kids?
Mom: No.. your period will stabilize soon. You're still young.
Me: Mom.. I'm 19.
Mom: As I've said, still young. And besides, it's so easy to get pregnant.
Me: I don't like kids. I might not have one.
Mom: What are you talking about? I expect grandCHILDREN in 5 years!

Oh yeah.. give it up to my mom for being so blunt about it. She even told me stuff about how she got pregnant but I wouldn't disclose that here (do I hear sighs of relief? ^__^). I find her last line funny because she didn't say "I expect you to get married in 5 years" what she clearly specified were grandchildren. Haha! I love my mom for trusting me to have made the right decision with Julian.

When I was a kid, I asked her how to draw people. I asked her why the Earth wasn't the center of the universe. I asked her why the garbage collector stole my bike. I asked her why I couldn't play outside in the afternoon and instead force myself for siesta...

It makes me both scared and thrilled at the same time that I'm so close to asking her how to become a good mother.

FYI: I'm not pregnant. >.<

NOTE: THANKS to VINKS of http://utakgago.blogspot.com for featuring me in his blog. Please visit his blog too! Lots of interesting posts to tickle your mind. Thanks again vinkz!

Working [Whores] Girls

2006-07-26T21:11:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Happy.. yes.. HAPPY.

Just a little news before I start this post: I was appointed Features Editor in The Chronicle (Communication Arts Official Journal). I found out after I took a piss and a much-needed break from a film-showing session our Scriptwriting professor put us in. God wants me to write again. ^__^

Yes. I am going to talk about that blasted film: Working Girls by Ishmael Bernal. I really wish I can find a site where I can direct you guys to a decent synopsis of this movie because I absolutely suck at giving story summaries.. but alas, the movie is way too old and way too Filipino for the Internet to put it up.

Working Girls is basically a story of six young women in a 1984 Filipino corporate setting. It depicts how women climb up to the top of the corporate ladder; one used her amazing skills in blackmail, one used her college degree, another used her biting personality while another one just simply slept with every new boss that comes around... you get the idea.

Some highlights:

o Gina Pareño and Tommy Abuel do it in the floor.
o Carmi Martin do it with a LOT of men but end up with Edu Manzano (lucky bitch.. >.<)
o Maria Isabel Lopez does it with a whole lot of dirty, ugly and FAT men.
o Hilda Koronel does it with an ape-like man (read: HAIRY) who reads poetry for a living.
o Some girl who got pregnant by her boss tried getting rid of the baby by taking up aerobics classes. (LMAO)

The tongue-ing was probably the one thing I couldn't stand about the whole ordeal. I can look at heavily graphic porn-comics. Heck, I can even watch a full-length porn movie if I want to. But come ON! It was a 1984 movie! Their idea of "arousal" is waaay far from what we have right now. Tell me dear readers, do you really tongue someone else's ear in a bar while dancing?! And it's not even the good kind! The man was literally jamming his pointed tongue onto the woman's ear as if his tongue was some kind of super jackhammer!

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not judging the movie because of its numerous sex scenes... for what can really be said about a 1984 film with a lot of sex scenes? It's perfectly understandable if the lighting isn't perfect, the lines too cheesy or if the clothes look like potato sacks. What I'm bitching about is the nauseating.. no, excruciating pain of having to watch tongues lashing hungrily at each other. It really made me lose my liberal mind. It would've been a little bit more.. uh.. appealing if the men were halfway decent but they weren't. Believe me, they WEREN'T. I am ashamed to admit that I have been scandalized by it. Ugh. That's really saying something because I'm not the type who'd go all squeal-y and shit at the sight of sexual intercourse.

The movie is good though. Aside from all the licking and the FK going on (by stars who are probably in their mid 40's by now) the movie has a lot to say about women's role in the office. Hilda Koronel's character is very admirable. You just have to love her when she delivers lines like "Learn to fight your own battles!" or stuff like "Punyeta! Maupo ka nga and listen to me!" she was by far the strongest woman among the 6 characters. She's just so irritatingly busy being bitchy all the time that you just can't help loving her. The others are okay.. Maria Lopez' character has a sad, tragic ending.. from being a Makati girl, she became an Avenida one. Another character whose name I have forgotten, ended hers with hope, Carmi Martin turns over a new leaf and bags a hot, rich boyfriend to boot.. Gina Pareño manages to squeeze a LARGE sum of money through blackmail.

I still don't know why our prof chose that movie for us to watch. Sure it's good but... what was the point again? Anyway, he asked us to make a draft either a prequel or a sequel of it. Now that assignment is fairly interesting. It's probably the most interesting thing he has done since introducing himself as our Scriptwriting professor.

I'm planning to use the Maria Isabel Lopez' "Makati gurl turned pokpok" plot and make a sequel out of it. Somehow, I just really hated to see an ending like that. I like tragic endings but that was just sad. I mean she started as a social climber, was buried 6 feet under in debt... succumbed to the dark side of flesh trade because of her needs... and----

Oh yeah, when she did manage to fall in-love and somebody was serious enough to propose to her, it turned out that that man's father had been one of her "clients." Disgustingly cliche I know.. but it's still sad. Her story ended with her getting in a car of a past "client" I don't know about you, but I find that awfully disheartening. It's one thing to get stuck in the muck, it's another story altogether to never get out of it. The finality of her sorry state made me feel really bad. So yeah... here's to a sequel!! *holds up a glass of margarita*

My Indie Director Hero

2006-07-24T09:57:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Thrilled

NEWSFLASH
Rommel Tolentino bagged Best Film prize in the Short Films category for the Cinemalaya 2006 Philippine Independent Film Festival

Rommel Tolentino is my uncle.

He has been my hero ever since childhood. Before he was a director, he was an awesome storyteller. I remember rainy days in a small room shared by me and my brother. Tito Ogie (as we call him) would sit with us and suddenly ask if we want a story. He would start his story and we would listen attentively. The rainy day shall come to pass sooner than we expect and we shall be taken to a surreal journey of pure, vivid fantasy.

After his story, I remember asking where he got the story because I wanted to hear it again. And then he said, "I can't tell it to you all over again.. I made it up just as I went"

That moment marked it for me. I looked up to him with eyes of adoring fervor. I decided I wanted to be just like him. I wanted to make stories.. I wanted imagination that can reel the whole world in. I wanted vision... I wanted art. I was only 7 years old at that time.

Tito Ogie followed his dream. He took up Communication Arts in UST and Film Studies in UP. He tried working for advertising agencies after he finished Communication Arts but quit shortly after because he admitted he can't work in that kind of environment. In my opinion, my uncle desrves to be in a spot wherein he can fully extend his imagination and freedom. A world where he has perfect control because through his mind, only beautiful things come out. That's why deadlines, magazines and newspapers aren't for him. In a country ruled by capitalism, Tito Ogie chose art. The only industry where money is scarce and second in priority.

Whenever I doubt the reason why I took up Communication Arts instead of Nursing, I recall Tito Ogie and how he managed to make something out of himself just by following his passion. He makes me believe that it's still possible to do what you want and get money out of it.

This is his winning piece:

Orasyon

Let us support Independent Filmmakers! Please watch movies from the Cinemalaya Film Festival. For more information please visit their site.

Attack of the Dumbasses

2006-07-22T19:55:00.000+08:00

At the moment: all good

After the movie: Me and Julian.

I watched Lady in the Water with Julian today. We were supposed to watch Nacho Libre (which we planned to do since the trailer came out) but we had our serious-movie mode on and instead chose M. Night Shaymalan's latest.

Paul Giamatti was brilliant. When he cried, my heart just crunched itself up and tears started pouring out. The first time I saw him was in My Bestfriend's Wedding playing a small, minor role. From that time until now, he has really made progress. It was a very convincing performance and I really think he should do more movies like this. He's made for it.

That's about the end of all the beautiful things that will come out of my post.

Our recipe for today ladies and gentlemen are Movie-Spoilers.

Julian and I watched the movie in G4 and was ~~expecting~~ hoping that people would have the right senses to NOT be a complete dumbass and shut up through the movie. But we were so fucking wrong. Maybe it was just bad luck that got to us. We weren't expecting to encounter these kinds of dumbasses while watching the movie:

Dumbass #1 -- He was seated behind us wrapped in the arms of his equally clueless girlfriend. At first we thought we could tolerate his annoying, fake, scratching laugh which only erupts whenever unbelievable shallow humor (like when Cleveland was getting rid of a bug under the kitchen sink) happens but gets silenced to dead air when intelligent humor reels in. Ugh. It wasn't that bad but things get worse when:

Julian: Can you please shut up?

Dumbass #1: *doesn't realize it was him Julian was pertaining to*

*screen shows heroine's scars disappear*

Dumbass #1: Ayan nawala na scars niya

*screen shows hero explain that he is a guardian*

Dumbass #1: Siya yung guardian..

*screen shows kid"

Dumbass #1: Yung bata!

.....you get the drift. I am not fucking blind. I am blessed with eyes and I can see perfectly well what was going on. I was so mad I wanted to cry but I didn't want to cause a commotion and ruin the movie for everyone else. Instead I concentrated on keeping Julian from strangling Dumbass #1 because he has a shorter patience than I have. Julian was practically yelling "SHUT UP!" but Dumbass #1 was indeed living up to his label. I can't understand how someone can be so dense.

Dumbass #2 -- She was relatively quiet through the first half of the movie. She just had to ruin it at the most intense part... that's why she makes it to my Dumbass list. I have nothing against our Bisaya brothers but her strong accent just made it all the more worse. She's so oblivious to the other people watching that it's ridiculous. This time, I was the one who couldn't contain my anger. I wasn't as courageous as Julian to actually say "SHUT UP" out loud but I was gritting my teeth and small gurgles came out. (I also didn't want to cause a scene and ruin the movie for myself and for others)

Let me paint a picture:

*screen shows a fat woman*

Dumbass #2: HAHAHA! Ayan si taba!

*screen shows a surprising scene*

Dumbass #2: *screams* Ayuku na! Waaa! Ayuku na!! Nakakatakut!!

*screen shows hero walk towards danger*

Dumbass #2: NAKU!! LUMAYU KA DIYAN!! WAG KA DIYAN!!

Is it too much to ask to watch a movie in peace? Is this the price people have to pay for watching a movie in the big screen? Everybody paid for their seats, everybody has a right to enjoy the movie.. why can't people just shut up for 2 hours? It's only two hours! I'm not saying people shouldn't speak but at least they should have the decency to minimize it and keep it to themselves!

To Dumbass #1 and #2: (and to other Dumbasses that would follow)

Don't let everyone know what you're thinking because frankly, nobody gives a flying fuck about what you think. SHUT UP for pete's sake!

RENT... my candle.

2006-07-21T21:15:00.000+08:00

At the moment: busy busy busy

Before you continue reading this post, I suggest you download this mp3 and try to listen to it. It may not appeal to some tastes but it's relevant to my post and will help you appreciate this entry more.

Rent - Light My Candle

I hope you enjoy it!

I'm not going to discuss how the movie rises up or fails in comparison to its stage play counterpart. This particular song from RENT is among my many favorites in the movie. Maybe because it's light and deviated from the depressing reality they're all in (I'm all about escaping reality). It's about two people flirting in the moonlight. I found it cute and catchy.

[EXCERPT]

ROGER [stutters]
Oh no.
I mean you do - have a nice -
I mean - you look familiar

MIMI
Like your dead girlfriend?

ROGER
Only when you smile.
But I'm sure I've seen you
Somewhere else -

MIMI
Do you go to the Cat Scratch Club?
That's where I work - I dance

ROGER
Yes! They used to tie you up -

MIMI
It's a living.

ROGER
I didn't recognize you,
Without the handcuffs

I just found the whole exchange, candid, natural yet very engaging. They were playing each other's game, you don't know who's making who uncomfortable. At first it's apparent that Roger is helplessly wandering in Mimi's wily charms; With his stuttering and staring it's obvious that he's hooked but he turns things around by mentioning details about the kind of "dancing" Mimi does. He was just so playful, I can't help smiling like an idiot. I'm actually envious.

How many people have this kind of communication skills? Can you honestly say "dead girlfriend" and "they used to tie you up" to someone you just met? I envy their ability to just spew out whatever comes into their minds and get away with it. Things in this world would be so much more interesting if people spoke out exactly what's on their mind. I'm not saying things will be better, I'm just saying it will be a whole lot more interesting.

I have long forgotten the art of flirting. When you have a steady relationship, flirting is unnecessary. Everything you do is already close to perfection to your partner. Sometimes, even your lambing can be interpreted the wrong way. Like you're guilty of something and that you're trying to get to his good graces to cushion the confession. It is nice though to not feel the pressure of trying to impress someone and luring someone to your game.

Yes. Flirting is a game. You can either get too personal or strictly play the game for what it is. If you get too personal, then you must play with all your might because your aiming for a relationship. I don't know why people have such a negative perception on flirting. Flirting happens even if you're not aware of it. Whoever branded flirting as that act wherein you wear little clothing and "showcase" your assets to the subject?

Laughing a little too much with his obviously shallow jokes and giving that subtle pats on the shoulder while you tell your story is already flirting (as long as you have the intention to flirt of course). And in my opinion, subtle flirting is the best kind of flirting.

Only skilled people like Roger and Mimi can flirt so blatantly and successfully get away with it.

My Gut Just Saved Me 98,000 Pesos

2006-07-19T19:55:00.000+08:00

At the moment: still scared out of my bloody wits

When Julian wasn't able to drop by at school to take me home tonight, I knew deep within my subconscious that something bad was going to happen. It was 7pm and along the dangerous streets surrounding UST you can never be too safe. Spending more than 6 years studying in UST makes you paranoid and cautious about your life just outside the school walls. You learn to accept that there's no such thing as 'impossible' and that you could die in just a fucking instant. (not to mention just steps away from school grounds)

What made me even more nervous was the fact that I was carrying my laptop with me. I had a big presentation to show today so I just HAD to bring it so don't give me a lecture about not bringing laptops when I don't even have a car. So technically, I was carrying 98,000 pesos on my shoulders (plus my parents' unspeakable fury if it got lost) I was a bit nervous about going home on my own with it on my shoulders but of course, I had no other choice.

I got on a semi-empty jeepney heading for Project 8. The ride was okay although traffic was a big, nasty bitch. I was tired, I needed to pee, I was starving... in short, I was so ready to go home. But my senses suddenly turned on full gear when a man practically jumped in the jeepney.

So how am I going to describe this man?

He was wearing a messy white bandana over his oily head. He had a loose, army shirt on and dirty, tattered jeans. He had bloodshot eyes and was panting like he had been running away from a freight train. He was carrying a big duffel bag which he secured defensively between his legs. But probably the most suspicious thing about him was that he was staring. As in literally staring at the woman in front of him. It was a shameless kind of stare.. The expression was a cross between terrified and constipated. He just looked so fucking guilty and nervous. Like he was about to do something he wasn't used to do.

Before you judge me of being paranoid and illogical, let me tell you that I have been a victim of it more than once. I know how it feels to get mugged in a moving vehicle. It creates an image... a memory that will perk itself up again when you encounter a similar situation. And trust me, my heart was thumping wildly against my chest. I have never felt more nervous in my whole life. I was carrying my laptop.. the laptop that I loved so much and that which my parents worked so hard for. The thought of it disappearing in an instant sent chills down my spine.

I was so sure that within minutes he would be taking out a knife or a gun and demanding people to give their belongings. It was a gut feeling. For a couple of seconds, I contemplated whether to give in to that gut feeling. I deliberated whether I was just being ridiculous or not. I even looked numerous times at "the man" just to inspect again and again if he was worthy of my suspicion. For all I know I could just be one fucking nutcase scaring myself for nothing.. but everytime I turn to look at "the man" he was panting heavily and staring... staring intently at the woman in front of him. Really, the only word I can use to describe that stare is: shameless. It was a blatant "ADIK-AKO" stare. It scared me. I swear, fear grips the consciousness and takes you into a praying frenzy. I can't remember how much Our Father's and Hail Mary's I uttered. Seriously. I was that scared.

That's when I finally made up my mind. I called over to the driver "Ma, sa tabi lang po" even if I had more than 5 blocks away from my stop. I crawled out of the jeepney half-expecting "the man" to suddenly grab my laptop as I pass by him. Of course, that didn't happen because if it did, I wouldn't be able to update right now. As I stepped out of the jeepney, I felt tasteful, overwhelming relief. Like that last push when you're suffering from constipation.

I walked the rest of the way home. It was long and yes the torture of my pleading bladder didn't help my journey the least bit but boy was I fucking thankful I got out of that jeepney. I honestly don't know if "the man" was really an evil man out to get our stuff but the fear was too much to describe.

I chose to follow my gut and got out of the jeepney even if "the man" wasn't doing anything yet. But should I really wait until he has threatened everyone in the jeepney to surrender our belongings to actually do something? You might think I'm a paranoid nutcase.. but at least I'm a paranoid nutcase with a laptop. I honestly don't know what I could've done if "the man" was actually a goon. >.<

My little advice would be if your gut tells you to get out, get OUT. If there's no apparent disadvantage to you following your gut, then by all means trust your instincts. In this world where you get killed just for a nokia 3200, you can never be too careful.

Stay safe guys! ^__^

This Flavor Makes Me Sick

2006-07-18T08:49:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Blank

NOTE: For all of this to make sense, please read Sorbetera Ran Out Of Sorbetes first. Thank you very much ^__^

I could've forgotten all about it. The application. The test. The hope... Oh good God, the hope. But when a good friend (who also took the test) called me as soon as I woke up, I was suddenly blown to a whirlwind of emotions. I tried to grasp at least one of them but I couldn't. I wanted to feel sad but I couldn't. I wanted to feel regret but I can't. This sinking feeling of just pure emptiness clutched my heart and disabled my gift of speech. Void. A black hole leading one to nothingness.

Renzie: Nicole! The results are out.. we didn't get in. Dibale nalang, let's try again next time.

Yet there was something very sad about his voice. A painful kind of sorrow. And as I sat there, half-expecting it would happen and half hoping it wouldn't, I suddenly felt the urge to wrap myself up in my security blanket: my blog. Now as I look at the screen, reality starts to sink in. I didn't get in. Out of the 45 people, who took the test, I wasn't part of the 10 who made it.

A million things are running through my head. Should I have used another word for describing relief? Was I too cheesy in the second part of the test? Should I have triple-checked my stories? None of which matters now.

Will I write again? Of course I will. This is the only thing I'm holding dearly onto. This is my pride. I do believe that I'm fairly good at it, maybe not good enough for the paper, but I won't give up that one thing that truly makes me happy and fulfilled just because of a test.

Will I apply again? I'm still not sure. I don't think I can. I'd probably work for a smaller paper and gain more experience from there but then again, haven't I been accumulating experience all my life? In gradeschool, highschool and even the first few years of college. I've been working my ass off, practicing my craft. And now, for the first time since I started writing, I feel incapable.

Oh well, there's no use brooding over this. Thank you dear reader for taking time to share my pain. Now let's go get some ice cream and drown in its sweetness. I don't like this flavor called regret. It makes me sick. I'd make sure to scoop another flavor next time.

It makes me feel a bit awkward to say this but maybe God has another plan for me. ^__^

Forgive me, PLEASE!

2006-07-17T22:11:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Droopy-eyed

Yes! The unthinkable has happened. I ran out of things to say and now, in an effort to see something new in this blog, I'm posting.. a... a..... a........ BLOGTHING! A blog quiz! The horror! The blasphemy! The blogging gods would punish me for sure. I took one though that connects to one of my passions: Food.

There's something stupid yet addicting in blog quizzes. You have perfect control of what the results are gonna be but you take them anyway. And when the result comes out, you'd tell yourself "Hey! This quiz is good! That's exactly how I am!" which in fact of course IS. How couldn't it be since you had full control of what that result is going to be.

There's a pattern in every quiz. Simple logic will straighten the path out for you. By choosing the options that are most related to each other, you begin to have a clear idea of what kind of result you're about to have. So why do we take quizzes? Why do we take the time to read the gazillion pseudo-personality quizzes out there that help us "define" who we are? (IMO: personality quizzes can never define one's personality)

To satisfy our delusion maybe?

Yeah, maybe that's it. We want something else to tell us what kind of person we are and since we have full control of the choices we make, that definition probably coincides with what we want to be. We end up satisfied. Thrilled, even. We can choose all the options that implies "coolness" and then get a result that says we're cool. We can choose all the options that implies "nerd-ish" and then get a result that says we love to read. I'm not saying everyone cheats on these quizzes. It's just that our choices are greatly steered by present conditions. What you choose right now may not be what you will choose tomorrow. You can't relate your whole personality to something like that.

By the way, here's the quiz I took:

You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut

A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image.
On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex.
You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time.
Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.

What Donut Are You?

What a great result. Yeah. I like that. My ego is satisfied.

Now you tell me if I cheated that quiz or not by affirming or negating this result >.<

He made me like dirty men again

2006-07-15T20:36:00.000+08:00

At the moment: relaxed

I have been in-love with Johnny Depp since Edward Scissorhands and I will continue to love him decades after Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Classes were suspended on Thursday because of the terrible storm so like every normal student that day, I went out to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. I already gathered news that it wasn't *that* good storywise but had astounding effects so I pretty much knew that I had to lower my overly exaggerated expectations. I don't want to walk out of a Johnny Depp movie feeling crappy about myself, I don't want to ruin his streak in my list. So far, he hasn't disappointed me yet. I even liked Secret Window.

Did I like POTC2?

This is harder to utter than I thought it would be. Y... yy--- yyee... YES. I liked POTC2. IF I'm going to look at it as a 150-minute teaser for the third movie. Even with my lowered expectations, I wasn't prepared to stomach the fact that I'd be looking at heaps of action concluding to absolutely nothing. Okay, to be fair and technical, it does conclude to something.. and that is a hanging piece of meat. I admit that that last scene creates a "WHAT-THE-FLYING-FUCK-IS-THAT-ABOUT?!" experience but that instance soon fades when you realize, "SHIT, I HAVE TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER FUCKING YEAR FOR ALL OF THAT TO MAKE SENSE!"

I am not being a narrow-minded bitch. I liked the movie for Capt. Jack Sparrow and him alone. I can like the effects which they spent a ridiculous amount of money for, but I won't. The "Disney Magic" which is characterized by fantasy jumping onto real life is truly evident in this movie. Every scene is filled with excitement and beautiful things to look at. Yes, even Davy Jones' fat-tentacled face is beautiful. The attention to detail is remarkable but that isn't enough to make me rave about the movie. I can only take too much action and effects... I need some story to back the whole thing up too.

I was thankful to Gore Verbinski for one thing though, he gave me a LOT of Capt. Jack Sparrow to have fun with. I was full and satisfied with the amount of exposure my favorite character had. He was practically everywhere, cracking his witty lines and rocking sideways with that walk of his... he's just completely adorable. Forgive me and my female hormones but I suddenly remembered that I used to like dirty, roughed up men (like Aragorn from LOTR) while I was watching Johnny Depp play Capt. Jack Sparrow so devilishly enticing. You'd just want to squeeze him in your pocket and take him home but of course Capt. Jack Sparrow wouldn't like that. He's not the type who'd be tied down to a particular situation... or anything for that matter.

The life of the whole damn movie: Capt. Jack Sparrow.

NOTE: thanks to Rope of Silicon for the yummy POTC stills.

Sorbetera Ran Out of Sorbetes

2006-07-10T21:01:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Relieved

I've lost my mojo for about two days prior to this post. It's because I've been feeling really bad lately and I don't mean bad as in emotionally bad. I've been having weird difficulties urinating (uh yeah, you wouldn't want to know about that right?) and I've been generally feeling limp and weak these past couple of days. But I do visit my blog and make sure to visit every blogger who tags on my tagboard and makes their presence felt. Thank you for visiting guys and I really hope you visit again. For what is a blogger without readers? Contrary to what other people might claim, I really think bloggers become bloggers because they want to express themselves and make their presence felt. There's no such thing as "I write because I feel like it and I don't give a flying fuck about the people who read it" because the fact that you're posting it in a place as ridiculously public as the internet, it's impossible not to take readers into consideration. What I'm saying is, I blog because I have something to tell everyone. Now what I don't give a flying fuck about are senseless arguments posed by people who think flaming is fun. If you don't agree to what I say or think this blog bores you to death, then please leave. I'm not begging you to read my post so I don't owe you anything.

That rant took longer than I expected.

ANYWAY...

I took a qualifying exam for our university paper (called The Varsitarian) yesterday. There were only four positions up for application: News, Special Report, Literary, Filipino. Lucky me for being a damn Feature Writer, the only position they don't need more members for. I avoided writing News like the plague and Filipino dislikes being handled by my scrawny imagination not to mention my pathetically limited vocab so it's no surprise that I applied for the Literary Section.

Did I do well?

I certainly hope so. Because out of 45 people, they were going to accept only 6 applicants: 3 for the News Section and 1 for every other section. I friggin suck at math but at least I know that my percentage of actually getting that one spot for the literary section is pretty low. The test was fairly okay but I practically took 4 hours to finish it. Actually it's exactly the given time for us to finish the test but aside from me (and a few others) 4 hours wasn't enough. Which says the test is both difficult AND time-consuming. In that day, I ended up writing 3 short stories. I know squat about literary techniques and other ways for transition and mystic realism and all that jazz. I don't mean to sound pessimistic but I think I lacked both talent and skill. What I spewed all over the paper that day was the only thing I was armed with: my wit. Will that be enough to get me that spot in the paper? I seriously hope so.

It was inevitable for me to think that I was at a clear disadvantage. The position I'm applying for isn't even my forte while most applicants were. I'm not being a bitter ass or anything but think journalism students applying for news, they were trained for that! That's how adept they are to their topic. But me... I was used to writing reviews, how-to's and stuff that usually goes in the lifestyle section of a Sunday paper which was a far cry from decent literary pieces. Decent = Angelo Suarez. Trash = me.

I'm not saying I'm completely useless. I'm just not geared for literature. I do write short stories every now and then but they look more like scripts for plays than real stories or novels. I don't even write poetry! Well.. not anymore. I used to but I wasn't able to transcend my work to the teeny-bopper phase. In short: I suck.

Inspite all this, I hope against hope, with all my heart and soul, that I make it to the paper. If I don't.. well then it's going to be a tough pill to swallow since it will be the first time I'll ever be rejected from a school paper.

I would probably keep on repeating to myself: "It's not that I'm no good; it's just that someone's better" you know.. just to keep that burning flame of writing alive. It's the only thing I hold dear right now. I'm no good at sports or dancing but give me a pen and some paper, I can take you on a flying cat that jumps over the moon who has a strong irish accent.

Waiting and Ticking

2006-07-07T21:47:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Unexplainable sadness

When I was in grade school, a bomb threat surfaced one lazy afternnon (during Filipino class) and since bomb threats during that time weren't that common, the administration took the safe side and made us all go home. The air was thick with caution and paranoia as students marched like entranced zombies out of the building. Everybody was given a chance to call their sundo to come pick them up since we were practically little kids back then.

As routine, I waited in the small guard house for the tricycle service to pick me up. I waited and watched my scared schoolmates leave the school with their equally terrified parents.

I waited.

People who passed by me looked at me with utmost concern on their faces. They bombard me with questions of concern but would leave in a minute or two even without a reply from me. Self-preservation.

I waited until the school was practically deserted. The air was dead and taunting as that little voice in my head whispered.. "You're going to die... everyone's gone and you're the only one who'd blow up" Even the school guard who was supposed to wait until everyone has left the school pressured me with incessant inquiries about the time my sundo will arrive. He was probably very anxious about his own life too. I, on the other hand, was quiet yet delirious with fury. I hated the driver for taking so long. I hated him so much I wished him dead or better yet, I thought I'd kill him myself when he arrives. It's self-preservation talking. I was so persistent on saving my own life that I'd kill others just to save mine.

When the tricycle service finally came, I ran towards it without saying a word. I cried all the way home as I felt the panic and hopelessness rush out of my body like diarrhea. I cried my heart out but quickly wiped my eyes dry when I got home. I didn't say a word to the driver nor to my parents. I just went straight to my room and doodled drawings on my notebook. The next day, I completely forgot everything. Even the murderous intent I had on the poor tricycle driver. It's like that memory was pushed deep into my subconscious, turning the one-day old memory into a distant dream.

But little did I know that THAT particular event will completely dictate my attitude towards waiting. I didn't notice it but as I grew up, I became more and more impatient. I despised waiting and refused to wait for anything or anyone. Whenever I was asked to meet up with someone, I make sure to be late for at least 15-30 minutes. In my mind, I'd want to get there on time but I unconsciously end up delaying everything so I'd arrive later than the person I'm meeting up with. I'm really serious about this. As self-centered as it may sound, I like things to go at my own pace. I want everything to be ready exactly the time I want it to be ready. And in inevitable times wherein people make me wait, I go as far as seriously hating that person. However, the hatred lingers only until that person arrives. When that person arrives, all thoughts of anger and frustration leaves my system.

Pretty much like how my anger towards the tricycle driver dissipated after one night of sleep. It's nothing personal. I just don't like waiting. Maybe I'm not mad at the tricycle driver himself, maybe what I really despise is the thought that I'm waiting for someone to arrive.

Whenever I wait, I feel like a bomb is ticking and if the person I'm waiting for doesn't arrive on time, the bomb will explode sending my limbs to several parts of the Philippines. That's why I hate. Please understand even though it seems ridiculous.

Fifth (Bitter) Wheel

2006-07-06T19:50:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Tired and Weak

Side note: Why is it so difficult to accomplish things when you write them down? At least in my case anyway. I'm the type of person who's fond of writing "Things to do" lists in hopes of organizing my life. However, it seldom materializes! My "Things to do" becomes a pointless "Wishlist" They become things I wish I could have done at that time. Sad... really.

Now onto the main course: Fifth Wheel Crisis.

Being the Third Wheel is bad enough.. being the Fifth Wheel is just suicide. Although American tv producers found a way to look at the Fifth Wheel in a less pathetic way (in their show The Fifth Wheel) the truth still stands: You're chopped liver in a couples-crowd. A lot of you guys may contest me on this saying that couples try their best not to leave their friend out. But is that really possible when you're clung onto your lover like a koala on eucalyptus? Even if you're not, the conversation you have with your lover is far more intimate and personal than the one you can share with a friend. The two of you understand things your friend cannot. Most importantly, when you're in college (more so if you're still in highschool), you're blazing with hormones.. I hope you catch my drift. And besides, I'm not saying couples who go out with a fifth wheel are spawns of satan. They can't really help it if the Fifth Wheel feels left out... or jealous even.

I went to McDonalds with a couple of my friends. Yeah.. I was the Fifth Wheel. Don't get me wrong, it's not that they made me feel uncomfortable or awkward. They were very accomodating and got me into every conversation. They never talked about themselves and left me looking stupid. I went with them because I was secure about my own romantic relationship. I have a boyfriend and even if he wasn't there with me at that moment, at least I know I'm not looking/waiting for love. But I soon realized that having him can never equal to being with him. It's really impossible not to feel left out. I even began to think, if I'm feeling this way, how much worse is it going to be if I'm single-AND-looking?

Maybe it was pride. Like I didn't want to look helpless and loveless when in fact, I do have a boyfriend.

Or envy. I wanted to have the same thing that they're having. Cuddles, sweet talks and technically, lambing

Both may be true but then again, this is probably the best explanation: maybe I just missed my man.

If you can, avoid being the Fifth Wheel. I know I should be advocating self-confidence and self-esteem but I'm being realistic. Most of the time, being the Fifth Wheel strips you naked until you're left examining yourself why you're still single. This may not be true for all of us but right now I'm speaking for those who lack self-confidence like me.

Oh and you know what? Before the day was over, one of my other friends had her boyfriend pick her up.

Surrounded by 3 couples made me feel like I was this guy:

NOTE: Picture came from 40 Year Old Virgin movie poster.

Orgasm-by-Food

2006-07-04T12:52:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Indifferent

Let me tell you this... I had never been hungry before in my life as I was last night. I was browsing through other blogs when I suddenly felt that annoying pang of hunger. It was already around 12am so obviously I shouldn't be eating anything anymore and should just sleep the hunger off. But I couldn't! It was that god-awful sensation in the pit of my stomach that just didn't want to be ignored. What's more, I look at my blog and see pictures of food... argh.. curses! I seriously wanted a burger.

I was chatting with Julian and he said I should look for a fruit. But the only available fruit in this house is that one fruit which I terribly hate: Oranges. Don't go flaming me now. I just don't like oranges. I dislike spitting out fruit pulps and seeds and besides, I don't even like citrus-y stuff. I was left with no other choice but to sleep the damn agony off. Yes, I prefer to suffer in hunger than eat oranges.

When I woke up, (which was already pretty late, lunch was ready) with the memories of last night's hunger lingering in my system, I decided to go for it.

I don't know if it was the hunger but all the food in the table was suddenly extraordinarily, fucking delicious. We had ordinary adobo and then ginisang sayote but I was in pure bliss. It was just adobo but I was nearing orgasmic pleasure. Yes.. orgasm is the best word that would fit the feeling at that moment.

Hmm... this reminds me of Stewie from Family Guy..

Chris Griffin: I hate vegetables.
Lois Griffin: Honey, they're good for you.
Chris Griffin: It tastes like a monkey. A monkey that's past his prime.
Stewie Griffin: This meatloaf is a symphony of flavor.
Stewie Griffin: It's too bad you can't have some. It's practically orgasmic!
Stewie Griffin: Oh, yes! Oh... yes!!
Stewie Griffin: [Faking orgasm]
Brian Griffin: I'll have what he's having.

Hahaha!! A baby faking orgasm.. yeah now that's something. But then again, Stewie is no ordinary baby. Anyway.. it was only today that I realized it can happen. Food can be sooo good (especially when you're damn hungry) that it can practically equal to a satisfying orgasm. If everyone takes this into heart, then the problem of overpopulation will cease to exist. All we have to worry about now is a whole lot of obese people.

NOTE: thanks to Planet-Family Guy for the lines from that particular Family Guy episode.
thanks also to Quahog 5 News for the screencaps

A Hot, Enticing Affair

2006-07-04T12:45:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Satiated.

It was one hot afternoon. The sky practically cleared itself up so that the sun can torture the poor humans on Earth. Sweat trickled down my forehead but I didn't care. I was hot... and bothered. The urge is enough to drive one out of his sane mind.

I was delirious. The sun was doing its part very well. With all those people around, I couldn't possibly go for it. The burning sensation was driving me insane but I still had the right mind to not let anyone see me while I do it. Doing it in that place and in that exact moment will ruin everything that I've worked so hard for. People might disrespect me if they catch me doing it.

So I looked for a private place where I can enjoy it privately. I couldn't wait any longer.. I was grabbing it with my right hand and stroking it back and forth thoughtfully. I managed to get into a spot near UST Botanical garden where small trees made excellent cover. I sat with obscene excitement and tore it open fiercely. There was no use acting all shy and innocent. I've done it lots of times before.. sometimes even in public. I'm used to this.

It was long.. thin yet hard as a rock.. the tip was sweet. I let the sweet tip touch my waiting lips and felt tingles of desire. I couldn't stop licking the tip. I kept on licking until finally, I was able to go all the way down. I thought I was going to choke but thank Aphrodite I was skilled enough to gobble it up whole. Until finally, I was done.

I walked out the garden with a dirty feeling. Like I've done something ridiculously unconventional. An overwhelming feeling of shame took over me as I wash my lips off with cold water.

And there, left ravaged by my claws...

My box of Pocky was no more.. >.<

NOTE: Try Pocky! The type of snack you'd think is guilt-free but after devouring 3 boxes of them (yes, you wouldn't notice how much of it you've been eating) you'd suddenly realize, Holy shit.. where did all my pocky go?!

Burgers Shmurgers

2006-07-02T16:23:00.000+08:00

At the moment: in a particularly good mood

Caught in the act of sin!

Lucky is the guy who can dig his teeth onto burgers without guilt

I have sinned again. This time with a greasy, notorious fiend called Hotshots. It happened yesterday. Julian and I browsed through Glorietta in search of stuff to ogle at. And when we suddenly got hungry, our tummies led us to the traditional burger n' fries combo instead of the usual korean restaurant we always go to. Maybe we needed a change of pace.. or maybe I'm just making excuses for devouring a sinfully delicious burger (AND fries! >.<)

So what did we order? I forgot what the name of the burger was but it had the word Bleu on it. It was a classic burger but instead of the regular cheese, it has cream cheese on it. I felt myself pushing my own limits with this burger. Julian, on the other hand, ordered the Chicano style one.. it had lots of fresh salsa on it. His burger tasted like a REAL burger while mine tasted like meat in thick, white sauce. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I'm just saying how different our burgers were. I take a bite of mine and taste creamy, soft sauce on my tongue. I take a bite off Julian's burger and taste the juicy meat smothered in tangy salsa sauce. Was it good? Hell yeah.

I haven't eaten a burger for a long time and it tasted damn good. I don't care if the burger didn't look like anything that's on the menu. I don't care if it's an ordinary burger.. heck, give me bart burger from Burger Machine and I'll gladly eat it. Sadly though, I wouldn't be able to eat burgers again for a couple of months. So it's temporary 'goodbye-grease' for me. It's funny how I seem to have a clear record of the number of burgers I've eaten in the past months.. while a few years back, I didn't care shit about what kind of food I eat and when I ate it. Why was I cursed with such a slow metabolism?

So.. what happened to our heavenly burgers?

This is what happened. Obliterated. Completely wiped out of this universe.

Try it, why don't you? It's time to graduate from the Regular Yum don't you think so? ^__^

Why I Suddenly Liked Superman

2006-06-29T23:50:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Hungry.. >.<

Superman flies! Would you look at that cape? Is that... plastic?

I watched Superman Returns because I wanted to know what the hype was all about. I was never a Superman fan.. I didn't like the fact that his only weakness is a tangible thing called a kryptonite (I prefer to see that there's something he cannot do). I didn't like it either that he's just so... one-sided. He's just so good! I can't see any gray lines in that royal blue outfit of his.. the drama is focused on him being lost in a world he is already familiar with.. not inner turmoil or doubt. He's just really... Super. And I don't like super stuff. I like mine medium.

Anyway.. I'm not going to rant about why I don't like Superman. I'm going to tell you guys what I liked and didn't like about the movie. This is coming from someone who doesn't really like Superman. Note: May contain spoilers. Read at your own risk

The Good:

1.) Clark Kent is just so.... adorable. He's not just a "mild-mannered journalist" he's a silly, absent-minded klutz too! How can you NOT love Clark Kent? With those huge.. BLUE (boy were they ever!) puppy-dog eyes and that expectant expression, you'd just want to huggle him and bring him home to mom.

2.) The CG was breathtaking. Okay, I admit. I was taken in by the graphics and the overall direction of camera shots. Seldom do I find CG commendable since I'm more of the raw indie-type lover but the effects and incorporation of CG in the movie was amazing. It was far from cheesy. I actually felt my heart pounding wildly against my chest in anticipation. That's how effective their effects is. I was actually nervous

3.) Lois Lane isn't an annoying Mary-fucking-Sue. She smokes! YES! I'm not a smoker but that just completely marks her off the Mary Sue list. She's feisty and focuses on the news that actually matter rather than the obvious bandwagon the Daily Planet was riding on. Nevermind the fact that it has something to do with her personal feelings for/against Superman.. but at least she notices the little details in an incident that SHOULD make the news (but gets overlooked).

4.) One scene made me cry. Well I didn't really cry, 'moved to tears' is more like it. I wouldn't tell that scene to you guys. I'll wait until the screening is over. But that one scene really hit the spot.. actually.. there are two scenes that really clutched my heart and squeezed all the emotions out of it. And please, don't think that it has something to do with the romance between Superman and Lois. Give me a break. >.<

The Bad:

1.) The idiotic humor they squeezed in at the last part of the movie. I'm sure it was meant to be funny and I'm also sure there are people who actually found it amusing.. but I didn't. I felt like it ruined the whole mood rather than enhance it or lighten it even. It was just too fruity for my taste and maybe because I had a little bit more respect for Lex than what is expected of me. >.<

2.) It was too long. Sure it was engaging and all that but it was too long for me. I really think they should've cut a little bit of the opening scene. It was vague anyway. After the whole movie is done, I even asked my boyfriend what the hell was up with Lex' opening scene with the old lady and stuff but he didn't know either. And my boyfriend is actually one who knows his Superman facts. He may not be a big fan but he knows what needs to be known. If he wasn't able to get it, then it's impossible for someone like me to get it.

Hmm.. that's strange.. I only have two bad points to make. There must be something wrong here. Oh well.. maybe I should accept the fact that I did enjoy the movie. It was a comic book movie.. fine but there was something very appealing to it. Superman Returns certainly got my attention maybe not in the very first part but at least it was able to keep me hooked until the end. I recommend it highly for everyone.

Hey if a Superman hater like me actually liked the movie, then maybe you might want to give it a shot too. ^__^

Forbidden Lover

2006-06-28T20:32:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Very, very tired

fudge brownie from ice monster is guilty pleasure at its finest

Have you ever tasted sin? Yes, ice cream is indeed the luscious material form of sin, but have you ever tried its advanced counterparts?

I've been going on a "slow but zero torture" kind of diet for the past few months already, As the name implies, I don't starve myself or rule out the beloved rice from my life. Instead, I eat few and drink lots and lots of water while eating. I only take merienda on occasions and I don't go to fastfood joints. Oh and one important part of this diet is the green tea. It works wonders in removing the guilt from eating more than the usual. Anyway, I don't have to say that I stay away from sweets too. This blog is like my frustration spread out on the internet for everyone else to take part in. Staying away from sweets is easy as long as you don't expose yourself.

But while I was browsing through the images in my folder, I saw this particular picture. It was taken in one of my dates with Julian. It was that one special time he let me eat something sweet (he's like my coach you know.. he blows the whistle whenever I feel tempted to eat something "evil") So we went to ice monster and I courageously chose fudge brownie.

I underestimated the damn thing. I thought it was like every other fudge brownie-flavored stuff I get from other types of snacks. The fudge part is just a drizzle of hershey's chocolate syrup and the brownie part consists of thin little slices of chocolate-flavored bread. But I was so friggin' wrong. If some of you guys already tasted it (which I'm sure you have) you would know that this fudge brownie special of ice monster has layers upon layers of sweet evil goodness. It has two chocolate wafer sticks, white chocolate bits as well as regular ones which were sprayed all over the bowl, 6 fat, chunky blocks of sticky brownies, 2 scoops of vanilla ice cream and to coat everything with additional sin just for good measure; thick chocolate and caramel syrup.

Julian looked like he was regretting his decision of letting me eat sweets that day. And to ease my conscience a little bit, I just ate 2 brownies and let Julian take everything else. I also didn't eat the wafers and the chocolate bits but just slurped on the chocolate/caramel coated ice (which was evil enough for me as it is) I was loving every minute of it though. I just absolutely adored the sweet sensation swirling in my tongue.. I snickered at myself trying desperately to chew the huge chunk of brownie which didn't quite fit in my mouth.

After that fudge brownie incident, I never returned to ice monster. I was thinking that if I return to that place, I would surely be tempted to get fudge brownie again because it's just so fucking good. I might even go there in secret and not tell Julian about it. It will be like a forbidden love affair between me and the sinful icy goodness. But of course, part of my diet is staying away from places that would make me sin, I can't just go around tempting myself... I'm not a masochist. I don't want to be so close to something which I know I can never have.

That day I felt like a girl who got that ballerina barbie she has always been hoping for but then later on, realized how expensive the doll was and felt guilty for forcing her parents to buy it. I felt guilty because I thought that I just ruined what I was working so diligently for.

After a few years though.. when I finally slim down and get to my ideal weight (I'm currently 126lbs by the way) I might visit my guilty pleasure and make sweet adoring love to it with my tongue.

Yeah. How intimate.

Stick to the status quo

2006-06-25T20:21:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Inspired..?

with characters looking like this, you'd know exactly what the movie is about

I never would've thought that I'd use a line from the Disney channel movie, "High School Musical" for my blog post. But as my little sister attentively watched the colorful world of artificial high school life, I found myself distracted by their high-pitch vocals. Even though the movie is undoubtedly cheesy and sickeningly predictable (it is a kid's movie afterall) I found their one song particularly interesting. It's about your "role" in campus.

A small part of the song:

No, no, no
Stick to the stuff you know
It is better by far
To keep things as they are
Don't mess with the flow, no no
Stick to the status quo

In school we play our own parts. Somebody plays the nerd, the bully, the virgin, the angsty one... and so on. This is particularly evident in highschool but starts as early as preschool. In a class, there's always that someone who gets left behind when the teacher asks the class to divide into groups.. there's always that someone who quietly doodles on her notebook while the teacher discusses ABC's.. that person who rarely talks but smiles when you call her.

I'm that kind of someone.

I used to be called a lot of names. From anime girl to the notorious 'asset', but my label never steered away from the generic: "the quiet one"

To tell you the truth, I didn't really choose to be quiet nor did I want people to assume I'm nice. I'm a nerd and I'm proud of that but it just sucks completely that people wouldn't even think that I have a life outside my PC. (Oh God.. do I? hahaha) Seriously, I do go out you know. I even wear mini-skirts! (yes.. I DO.) People take one look at my glasses and they close their minds to any other possible personality that I could have. Maybe that's why I have 3 sets of friends. They stand for the three things that I enjoy: Eastwood, the Internet and Tsismis. Even though these three groups are all my friends, I can never imagine seeing all of them together. The diversity of a human being is amazing.

The status quo dictates that I play by the rules and be the "anime girl" that everyone expects of me. Although I do like anime and manga, I don't want to be remembered specifically because of it.. I'm not that two-dimensional. Sometimes I even feel guilty acting beyond what is usually expected of me. I remember this one time, I was talking to one of my friends.. and then she suddenly exclaimed "Ugh! That's really pathetic! Why would people even go on EBs?" being someone who actually does, I wasn't sure whether to answer her question or not. She probably didn't know that I go to EBs once in a while so I can't really blame her for that, she didn't belong to my Internet barkada category. If I was talking to my online friends then they'd completely understand.

Getting the stares and the expressions like "Really? You do that?" even from my parents can be quite annoying though. I remember when I made it to the school paper in high school. I became the effing EIC.. and what did the people at home say? "Nagsusulat ka pala.."

So how about you? What does that sign on your head say?

Romance: Shoujo Manga Style

2006-06-25T12:52:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Relaxed

Gin from Love Celeb: epitome of being lust-worthy

In traditional romance novels, the woman's role is a crying, desperate mess. Then the prince with unbelievably well-maintained hair goes over and makes her a princess. (I still think SHREK is the most realistic fairytale) Some may find this whole scenario sickening especially those who are die-hard feminists but if you don't like this type of romance then most probably you wouldn't like shoujo.

To those who aren't familiar with the term shoujo here's a simple definition from good ol' Wiki:

Shōjo or shoujo is a term used in English to refer to manga and anime aimed at a young, female audience;

I have grown to love shoujo manga despite the rather predictable story. Aren't everything that's meant for women predictable? I have a growing collection of it right now and I don't see myself stopping from liking it. In the land of knights and princesses, the princess is a beautiful girl who is exceptionally brilliant and has all the traits of perfection. In most shoujo, the girl is usually dumb, clueless and average. She's not good in schoolwork and usually needs help in Math. But she does have one saving grace.. she has a smile that can instantly make the leading hot guy go crazy over her. (lucky bastard.. >.<)One of the things that people don't like about shoujo is that the girl usually gets bullied around by the guy. And the guy usually gets his way. The girl of course resists but after a while, she succumbs to the charms of the hot leading man and gives her virginity in the process. I don't really find this disturbing. I find it very real and straight to the point.

But what I like most about shoujo manga is the traditional "save the princess" scene. It gets me everytime.

Bullying is very prominent in shoujo mangas and not only is the girl bullied around by the lead guy but she is also harassed by the fangirls jealous of the attention she gets from the lead guy. At this point, when the girl gets cornered by these fangirls, the guy who seemed to not care about her, shows up and saves the day. After which, this guy leaves the girl again and bullies her back to normal.

You've probably seen this kind of sequence somewhere before (it's not the most original idea anyways) but I prefer seeing it in shoujo manga. The characters look so good that it's ridiculous, the possibilities are endless, the emotions are exaggerated and magnified.. Oh well heck, it's a lot better than the crap I see on local television.

Let me recommend a few titles:

1.) Hot Gimmick by Aihara Miki
2.) Nana by Ai Yazawa (sex, drugs and alcohol included)
3.) Paradise Kiss by Ai Yazawa
4.) Teacher's Pet by Aihara Miki (this one has a lot of sex so if you're not into that, then stay away)
5.) Parfait Tic by Nanaji Nagamu

It's quite obvious that I have two favorite mangakas.. haha!!

In a different world

2006-06-24T20:39:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Still confused.. but coping

I have always made my websites/blogs in a free web host so I'm used to coding everything, uploading everything and slaving away in front of the PC for hours and hours on end until I get my desired effect. I don't rely on any other code rather than that which comes forth from my head. But since I transferred to Blogspot, I've had a really tough time editing someone else's CSS and fidgeting with how the whole system works. Alas, I came to understand it.

So forgive me if this blog doesn't look too good.. I am definitely going to explore the boundaries of this system more and see how far I can tamper with it.

At your service

2006-06-04T18:50:00.000+08:00

At the moment: Totally Confused

Sorbetera welcomes you to her blog. Actually, I was hell-bent on choosing the name "Lucille" for this blog but then again, the harsh conditions of the great internet god left me impaled. Yes, another person in this world of 6.5 billion people has chosen the name Lucille for his/her blogspot account. I tried choosing other names like "Atelier" (which I thought after the manga Paradise Kiss crossed my mind), "Parfait" (which I thought after the manga Parfait Tic came into mind) but alas, everything turned to dust. I tried to recall my past blog which I manually made in Freewebs... I used that name for a long time. It was Piraso. Then I thought perhaps a tagalog name could sneak in. And luckily, it did. Grammar Freaks might be thinking right now that there is no such word as "sorbetera" much more, a "sorbetera girl" I'm telling you now, don't strain yourself for there is no special meaning behind the name of this blog. I chose "sorbetera" because sorbetero was already taken and because there's no such titles as "tubera" or "karpintera." Ugh.. I'm so corny I think I'm gonna puke.

No I do not sell ice cream. But I sure as bloody heck love it. If I'm going to be perfectly honest here, I'd say that I just couldn't think of any name and just thought of my favorite kind of dessert.

However, if I'm going to be completely fake about this, I'd say that I chose this name because my blog would be like ice cream in a hot day. You won't stop eating it until your throat gets all sore.